This Stays Between Us
This Stays Between Us is THE podcast where best friends Chrys and Riss, two Brazilian girls living in the US, dive into all the things that make life interesting, hilarious, and sometimes downright ridiculous. Every episode is a no-holds-barred conversation about dating, life’s ups and downs, funny stories, books, and the latest buzz in pop culture. With a mix of humor, candidness, and authentic connection, this podcast is the perfect blend of heart and laughs.
Chrys and Riss bring their unique perspectives as immigrants navigating life in the States, and they share their experiences through lighthearted chats and deep discussions. Whether they’re sharing stories from their past, debating the latest Netflix show, or reflecting on the complexities of modern dating, every episode is a relatable and entertaining experience.
This Stays Between Us is all about keeping it real—no topic is off-limits, and the vibe is always laid-back and fun. The podcast brings listeners into the heart of their friendship, offering a behind-the-scenes look at two best friends who just happen to have a lot to say. So whether you’re here for the laughs, the stories, or just to hear two friends share their thoughts on the world around them, you’ll find something to love.
Tune in to This Stays Between Us for a podcast full of honesty, humor, and maybe just a little bit of gossip—but hey, it stays between us, right?
This Stays Between Us
Just Between Us... From Aisle to Annulment, Dakota Wright on Nick Viall Files, and Sharing Wisdom - Ep. 23
Listen in on the most telling red flags at weddings and how divorce is not just optional, it's probable. After that, let's analyze the toxic dynamic between Dakota and Taylor from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives after Dakota's interview on Nick Viall Files. Lastly, catch some of our wisdom that you just might find embroidered on your grandma's pillows.
• Aggressive cake-smashing at weddings is an immediate divorce and deserves jail time
• Grooms not crying when the bride walks down the aisle is a major disappointment and calls for a redo
• Partners who don't stand up for each other against difficult family members deserve jail
• Let's do away with the garter toss tradition, please
• Dakota Wright from "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" fails to take accountability for his actions in his relationship with Taylor
• Public scrutiny makes relationship healing significantly more difficult
• Past trauma explains behavior but doesn't excuse it, let's get that straight
• Standing up for your partner is foundational to a healthy relationship
Be delusional. Reality is for people with no imagination.
Welcome back to this Stays Between Us. Just a reminder all opinions expressed are our own. This episode may include commentary based on publicly available information and is intended for entertainment purposes only. Aka.
Chrys:Don't sue us.
Riss:We don't take responsibility for anything. We might say, yeah, it's all just for fun. Kicks and giggles, yeah, all right. And today we're going to start off with a little fun little segment where we are going to do what did we call it again?
Chrys:Valid wedding crash outs.
Riss:Yes, what did we call it again? Valid wedding crash outs.
Chrys:yes, uh, walking down the aisle from aisle to alimony, like trying to get it aisle to annulment essentially like what, uh?
Riss:what things happen at weddings that are red flags? You're immediately like I give them a year, six months tops. And then we're going to go into talking about the interview with Dakota from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on the Nick Vow Files, and then we'll end it with some fun quotes. Um, I forgot what we called that one too.
Chrys:I forgot too. It's like home good wall art. Yeah, quotes you'll find on a mug, quotes that belong on mugs. Yeah, yeah, okay, close out that way. So wedding crash outs. Um, all right, what are some red flags for you? I mean, I love seeing those videos of the man just like smashing cake on the.
Riss:I was gonna say that's like that. I feel like that is the quintessential, like the quintessential, most common one that happens yeah divorce immediately.
Chrys:It's like don't even I feel like don't even send the papers to the court but very like it was very minor, it was like a little piece and we just like, like a set it to each other and like yeah, pressed it a little and it was fine. But I've definitely seen people like I've seen. I've seen grooms flat out just grab the bride's face and like smack, okay, I was gonna say that it's ridiculous.
Riss:It makes me want to cry because I'm like watching those videos and I just know that the bride like spent hours on her makeup and hair and now it's like so much frosting, yeah, the dress and all the things and also like the event isn't over, like yeah, you may or may not have done your dance.
Chrys:I don't know the official order of things, right I feel like everyone does it a little bit different. But like you might still have a dance, you might still like have the party or whatever, like you're still gonna hang out with those people for a bit longer, so like, and then you're gonna have, like the walking out thing. A lot of people do that.
Riss:You can't do that because you're all nasty or you don't look good anymore, like, and it's so rude and it's like it's your day and you want to be, and I'm sure people do it, and like I'm not big on pranks, I feel I was actually gonna say like I wonder like how did that tradition ever even start, even for birthdays? It's like slightly humiliating when you know it's like it's your moment and somebody smashes your face into a cake.
Chrys:It gives out like younger sibling trying to take the moment, or older sibling, or older sibling.
Riss:That's true, no, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I forgot you're the youngest. Yeah, I was like, don't be throwing shade at my people A lot of my siblings.
Chrys:My sisters would be more likely to do something like this. So, yeah, older sibling for sure, but yeah, I don't, I don't get it I. One thing I'm big on too is like a joke isn't funny if both parties aren't laughing, like if you're trying to make other people laugh at someone's expense, like that's just so yucky. And especially at your wedding, it's like your husband should be like your main person, your best like your hype man, you know not.
Riss:Your like plenty or downfall, yeah. And then, like that happens, and you feel like people are laughing at you, not with you, and it's yeah, no, not a fan.
Chrys:Ridiculous, all right, next wedding this is a straight up attack on my husband.
Riss:But them not crying as you walk down oh my gosh I'm not married yet, but chances are that if I walk down the aisle and my groom is not crying, I'm just turning back I.
Chrys:I threatened that so much I was literally walking down the aisle just looking at him it was really sunny on both our eyes. So I'm like, is he? Is he crying? And I got it close and he wasn't, and I'm like, all right, you're just getting a peck. When they declare his husband's life yeah, we're gonna try this again.
Chrys:I know, have you seen, um, what's her name? Taylor tomlinson. She's a comedian and she talks exactly about this and she's just saying she was saying like a few different things, how like brides milk the walk now and like they go super slow and then they walk back, or whatever. But she was saying like at her wedding, if her husband's not crying, she'll be like. We're just gonna pause for a second. I miss him. Come here, come here, mother effer, you better cry. And like he starts crying in the moment. She's like you're too early and too late. We're gonna try this again.
Riss:It is, it's how I feel, too like that is.
Chrys:We need tears, you know, like my problem is that josh is not a crier, yeah, and which is a good thing and a bad thing. I've definitely been in a situation before where it was like a first date and the guy was bawling and I was like you can never touch me again, but he doesn't cry, like the only place that he's cried is when I've given birth, like and I was like a tear.
Riss:It's like that's what it takes to make you cry.
Chrys:Maybe we give up and maybe some fights here, but not the aisle or like normally. He's very like I don't know. I I don't know if he's dead inside. He might be maybe therapy?
Riss:yeah, maybe that'll solve it. My current boyfriend is a crier.
Chrys:Yeah, and so your current boyfriend, yeah I love how you just like, not just boyfriend, just current boyfriend, let's, let's be.
Riss:Make it very clear um no, you're replaceable babe, stop crying this is a warning from. It could be current boyfriend, current husband, unless you cry when I'm walking down the aisle.
Chrys:We need to get him to hang out.
Riss:Maybe they'll balance each other out yeah, but it's like he, he, if he gets, if he's feeling anything really strong, like you'll see his eyes water up. It's actually one of the things that warm my heart. Warm my heart and so if, like, if we get married and I walk down the aisle and he's not crying, that's gonna be.
Chrys:Oh yeah, but that's because he set a pattern Exactly.
Riss:Yeah, the expectation is there, so it's his fault A hundred percent. Yeah, I get that expectation is there, so it's his fault a hundred percent. Yeah, I get that, yeah, I understand. Yeah, that is, that is a big one and that's like. Yeah, I love how we agree on that, because that's even like that's not even at other people's weddings. You know, that's like my own wedding, it's like it doesn't happen, it's divorce it was so funny too, and maybe this is a red flag too.
Chrys:I swear josh has a good husband like it's hard to explain this.
Riss:Um, this may not be an episode for josh. Keep him away.
Chrys:He's not allowed to listen anyway. Yeah, but we got married at this ranch or whatever, and it's kind of hard to explain it, but basically, like there was like a, the house for the ranch, and then like there was a big path, a bridge, the pond yeah, the pond and then the wedding ceremony was on this side and so he, when I was coming out of the house, he had everyone, had their back to me pretty much. Well, everyone that was standing, so him and whoever else. So I walked down to the front and he, he told me he was gonna do this. He was like I want to avoid like looking until you're like coming down the aisle, because like I want to be surprised or whatever. And I'm like, okay, did you guys do like a first look?
Chrys:no okay, we got married during the pandemic.
Riss:We didn't do a lot of things, right it was very like, right, but I honestly almost like, I like that. It's like it feels just traditional and more authentic to like when he looks over at you in front of everyone.
Chrys:Yeah, he should have cried.
Riss:I don't know what the fuck is wrong with them. I know this context didn't help his case did it.
Chrys:But the funny thing is that like I walk or whatever, and I get to the aisle thing and that man is still not looking at me and I'm like, do I walk? Do I not walk? Like should I throw?
Riss:a pebble at him like can somebody tap him on the shoulder?
Chrys:it's like what the hell? Everyone is standing looking at me, except for the man that I'm married, staring at a wall it took him, he like, I guess he didn't, I don't even know he was just looking like down or whatever, like waiting for the moment to look up and then when he finally did, it was really sweet because we're looking at each other and like I could see in his face that he was like surprised and there was a moment. But for a second there I'm like yo look up, what do you mean?
Riss:how about you turn the other? He's like on his phone, it's like a toddler that needs to be distracted.
Chrys:It's when we little rock at the pond or something. Yeah, for a second there I'm like I'm gonna walk back to the house and we're gonna try this again.
Riss:That's so funny anyway it was no funny, funny, but yeah crying is important. What else? What else is?
Chrys:like a red flag.
Riss:Okay. One is when the groom, like this, is throughout the wedding, but especially during like vows or a toast. If the groom is trying to make his buddies laugh more than he's actually like caring about what he's saying or trying to be sweet to his wife, you know, and I guess like vice versa too, like with women, but not as much like I feel like that's still like a a groom thing, like, yeah, if he's just like the whole day, it's more about because for the boys the boys yeah, yeah, no, I can't stand that I've seen a lot of videos and gone to weddings where like he's like hanging out with the groomsmen and stuff, and like the bride is just on the other side, it's like you stand by her the whole night.
Chrys:It's your wedding day.
Riss:A hundred percent. That's actually another one. If, um, if the couple is like not together for most of the wedding, you know like they don't like each other.
Chrys:Yeah, it's like they're doing their own thing, yeah yeah, I agree, red flag, seriously, okay, I have another one I saw a video recently too, and I think I forget her name, madison humphrey. I think she did like a, a parody of it.
Riss:Oh yeah, yeah, I know what. Exactly what you're gonna talk about?
Chrys:the mother-in-law and the groom like dancing really close I've seen a couple where they're like not what I thought I saw the like, I saw the parody and I was like ain't, no way, there's zero chance, this is real. And then I saw the original and it looked like the mother-in-law and the groom were about to make out like, and I was like the mother-in-law no, not mother-in-law his mom.
Riss:Oh okay, so bad, it's just not good. Yeah, no, not good, a little better is it? I'm like I don't know when you can walk away from well, that's true, that's true, but then it's also like no I don't know, maybe you're drunk, my mom looks like me.
Chrys:Maybe you got confused, I don't know. But like kissing your own mom is like it's all. It's all bad. Either way there's a divorce in your future. But it was yeah. Them just like really close and like dancing several songs, like it's weird. It's like like as a mom of boys and again my children are under four years old but I feel like I understand the feeling of like your kids are growing up like obviously at a different degree. They do little things. They get more independent. It's kind of heartbreaking to not be as needed. So I can imagine that on their wedding day you're like oh my gosh, my baby, but back off.
Riss:This is not about me. It's a grown-ass man.
Chrys:Yeah, I get hugging your kid, I get having a dance with your son and being like, oh my gosh you're so grown up. I love you so much. I I'm so happy for you. But then it's like you should be the main collaborator in making sure that him and the bride have the best time. Yeah, not like trying to make about or like mother-in-law showing up in like white.
Riss:It's like there's just like I am. I try. I love women, I'm a supporter of the women, yeah, but I'm sorry, on a wedding day and it's your son. The wedding isn't about your son. It's like his wedding, you know, and it's his wife's wedding. It's not like, and let's be real, it's hardly about your son. It's like his wedding, you know, and it's his wife's wedding. It's not like, and let's be real, it's hardly about your son. Yeah, it's about his wife. He's, he's just a prop. She just needed him there to be able to throw the party.
Chrys:But he could be a cardboard cutout. Like his contribution is so low, like it's hardly about him, like to be honest, like and even as a mother like I don't know and I don't have daughters, so maybe I feel even more so, like it's like you celebrating your new daughter, like making sure she has the best time, the best wedding, like it's just it's like celebrating a new family, not like yeah, yeah, no, I've, I have, just I've.
Riss:I have friends going through that kind of thing and I just the I just can't get over it.
Chrys:I'm just like that is crazy Me neither People having opinions and stuff. It's like anything else. It's like why do you care this much? It's not your day, like it should be, about you sitting down in front of the bride and saying it's what everyone wants.
Riss:Weddings are like it's so, it's so. It's so crazy, like the juxtaposition of like how important of a day we grow up to believe it is, which it is I'm not saying it's not and how it's like it's your day and it's such a special day, and then it finally comes and it's like nobody actually really cares, and if they do, it's something annoying that they care about. You know, it's just to like make things harder. It's just like, uh, they care because they want it to be a certain way, to be a certain way and to be different from like what? Yeah, you want it, and it's I. So frustrating.
Chrys:It's the same thing when you have kids. It's like the big events. Everyone thinks about themselves and not about like the main people it's just tough yeah, which I feel. Yeah, I don't get that at all. I yeah, it's super annoying. Which, I think, brings me to another red flag. Yes, well, two, I think, because it can go either direction. One, when the groom is not wanting to participate because, like, obviously he just has to be there like with the wedding planning?
Riss:yeah, with the wedding planning.
Chrys:And like making sure it is what, like, his bride wants. Yeah, like I feel like it's such a red flag. Some guys are like I don't care, I know we just said that they're just a problem, but they are a supportive. Yeah, they have a role and it's of, uh like, supportive assistant and like vibes and you want them to care like it.
Riss:Yeah, you want them to want it to be a very fun special day. It's like.
Chrys:But they also have to understand that most of their opinions and taste is bad, so they have to be.
Riss:It's like, it's like a ballroom dance, right where it's like he's leading, but she's the show you know. Yeah, like, and that's how that's my analogy I like it. He should be there, he should be supportive, he should be helping, like, make the dance happen. Yeah, while also knowing that she's the center of attention about her.
Chrys:Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like, yeah, I, I feel like they have to participate on us, but the other side of it is, um, I guess it's just the same thing, just being supportive, because I feel like there are so many people that have so many opinions and I feel like the grooms, like the brooms, the grooms number one job also is to like support his wife. So like, if people are being annoying, like setting up for her and being like thank you so much for your opinion. We're actually not doing that and just like you don't have to be rude but stand up for her yeah, it's the foundation of your marriage too, which is it translates into everything and it's so important 100.
Riss:This is like it's one of the first times I mean like I'm sure it happened it happens within the relationship before, or at least it shouldn't be happening already where you should be standing up for your significant other. But I think that a wedding is like so stressful, with how expensive and all the planning and all that stuff, that it does bring up enough situations where it's like this is who you guys are as a couple, you know like and I think especially where we live, people don't date for very long before they get married.
Chrys:No, I think the average in utah is like two months I don't know, but you, and even if you've dated longer, like maybe you haven't had enough opportunities to stand up for your partner. Yeah, like you don't. Like maybe you haven't had enough opportunities to stand up for your partner.
Chrys:Yeah, like you know, like maybe you have a really good relationship, really good communication you haven't had too many people get involved, yeah so I think that, yeah, planning an event like that and having like family have big opinions is a huge tester of the relationship, because both families too.
Riss:It's like everything is like clashing and it's a because it's also there's different stakes too.
Chrys:I I mean it depends on, like, what the dynamic is, but I feel like typically, you don't start like sharing holidays with family and other things until you get married. Like it gets more, yeah, official there. So like you have to make sure that you have good boundaries with each other's families and that, like this isn't something else that I've had like so many arguments with people about. It's like if you have a problem, if there's a problem with one of the families the groom of the bride, whoever's family that is that's your responsibility to like calm things down on that side and handle the confrontation to keep the peace. Yeah, I've had so many people disagree with that, but I think that's a terrible take.
Riss:But like they think that, for example like a wedding your family. Yeah, it's my job to right and make sure that I would. But people would disagree with that.
Chrys:They would say it's like your husband's job to yeah, like I've had so many people disagree with it, especially if it's like directed at example we're planning a wedding, my family is disagreeing with something my husband is doing, or like they're being difficult towards him, that it's his job to stand up to my family. I completely disagree with that.
Chrys:It's like it's my job, because that's my family and I know them better and I've had more positive experiences with him. Well, and you have the rapport. You know it's like, and it's also like if he hasn't had very many interactions with them, which typically is the case and they have a big fight they will have more negative experiences together than positive ones. It's strange. And it's so much harder to move that relationship forward. Oh, 100%.
Riss:It's like it's the whole concept of like, when you fight with a sibling, an hour later you can be fine, you've, you've like moved on. Exactly you guys are best friends or again, or whatever that's.
Chrys:That doesn't happen with other kinds of relationships, especially with in-laws, like yeah, no, yeah, I totally disagree but I've had so many people like literally yell at me about that blows my mind that people would disagree with that sadly it's a thing and it's so crazy because you feel like the crazy person, right, because you're like. But what do you mean like because you're like this?
Riss:is obvious.
Chrys:Well, it's obvious to me too, because it's like I don't know, like because everyone, everyone's family, can be difficult at different points, right depending on what's happening, like unless you have a super chill family, which, like I'm jealous, and then keep it to yourself, because no one wants to hear about it.
Chrys:Okay, go be happy over there.
Chrys:I don't know, but I just think it's so crazy because you want to have a good relationship, you want to have those whatever like and.
Chrys:And it's so crazy because you want to have a good relationship, you want to have those whatever Like, and it translates into everything Because, like when you have kids and all these different things, like I think it's so important, like I want to make sure that my family gets to be a part of those things, but I know that my family sometimes can be hard and so I know how to handle them, so I make sure that I'm having those conversations in keeping the peace, and same thing for my husband's side.
Chrys:Like I feel like that's so important and some people and it's not like to be fair to you, it's not a skill that comes naturally I think it's hard to like understand that, like I'm married, this is my person now and so, like, yeah, this comes first and I have to. I want to manage those relationships and have good relationships with, like, our families of origin or whatever. But this person comes first and, like, a lot of families have a hard time accepting that. Yeah, that transition and so, but it has to be something you practice and something you understand how to tackle. Like that's part of being married, like you have to know how to the healthy communication.
Riss:I feel like I know it's so, it's actually, yeah, it's so important. It's very hard, yeah, but vital, and I, yeah, yeah, get skipped over, okay, last one about the oh, yeah, yeah, wedding bring it back.
Chrys:Yeah, let's get farther, reel it back in um.
Riss:Okay, this one might be controversial and I'm okay with people disagreeing with me on it I might walk out.
Chrys:What is it?
Riss:oh, two just came into my head. Okay, the first one I was gonna say a really rehearsed first dance really yes, wait, why do?
Riss:you hate it? Okay, here's the thing, let me clarify. Not a rehearsed first dance, that's fine, but one of those that are like it's so rehearsed that you know that each one of them is like in their head counting the steps and like, okay, I have to remember to swing here and it's toe, tap, toe here, and it's like I don't know, I don't think anybody is expecting a huge performance, yeah, but like there's it's a whole, like bride is running and groom is grabbing and they're spinning but it's.
Chrys:It doesn't feel authentic at all.
Riss:It's just like a very rehearsed thing I can understand that.
Chrys:I get it. I mean, I I always thought it was romantic to do like dancing classes together. Before me too, we ended up not having time because again it was covid, everything was shut down, but I feel like that's so cute, like you go to dances or whatever. I looked out because and this may be a small red flag, I don't know josh did ballroom yeah, hey, I dated a ballroom dancer.
Riss:Yeah, like one of my biggest mistakes, really I feel like it's I don't know.
Chrys:It's attractive when guys know how to dance. I feel like when they don't, it's really embarrassing.
Riss:So I appreciated the fact that josh I feel like there's a fine, fine line though, like yeah, if there yeah, if there are two.
Chrys:If it's, I will say and this is coming from a. Brazilian. So I feel like it's fine to say if they're doing like the samba stuff and like shaking their booties too much, I don't know if I'm down there's there's.
Riss:There's a very like.
Chrys:It's a very niche skill, yeah, to be a very good dancer and, um, like, like, very masculine still yeah, you know, and some guys can do it, but I feel like some guys, but it's niche, you know. Yeah, it's hard and when you can sexy, oh yeah, sexy sexy but like the college level, most of them were cringy and also doing it wrong.
Riss:Like yeah, there's, yeah, there's some men. They will look great doing it, but I'm not attracted to it. You know, it's a very like I know what team you play for and that's absolutely fine. Yeah, but I'm, you know, like as far as yeah I don't want to tap that, you know I get it.
Chrys:Yeah, I feel like most of that was in code, but I got it.
Riss:You picked up what I put down, but also like from like being from Brazil, like dancing fohal, oh yeah, that is. And if a guy knows how to dance, really well, it's hot, Very hot. Yeah, Love it, you know that is very attractive.
Chrys:I haven't taught Josh how to do fohal, but he did do like ballroom and like foxtrot and stuff. So like it worked out for a wedding and I did I mean grew up dancing for and like I did like a ballroom class too in high school at some point. But so like our dance was really good, people were like really like surprised by it. Yeah, which was cute, but it wasn't like planned.
Riss:We were just right figuring it out which, like that I liked.
Riss:Yeah, yeah but it would have been fun to do classes together, which yeah I think so too, like classes and again, having like a rehearsed dance isn't bad, and also this is me like being extra judgmental, right, but but there's just I've been to weddings where, like, I've been to weddings where like, yeah, you can just tell that they are. It's so much more about like how it looks rather than like that moment being them too, and I and I feel like it's almost sweeter when it is something that's like you can tell the couple is just like locked in and they're having their moment and it's like and it could be just them swaying, you know, back and forth, but you see that love between them and that, to me, is so much more romantic than that. Like super rehearsed, that's fine, yeah, but I'm not against it, I'm just just throwing it out. It was gonna be controversial.
Chrys:Yeah, just know, if I'm at your wedding, I I'm judging you, you're probably going to start getting fewer invites.
Riss:I actually love weddings. I feel like most people hate going. I love it.
Chrys:I love like and yeah, anyway, it's a good time.
Riss:What was? Your other red flag, my other okay, but this actually it's not like a red flag, it's not like a divorce red flag, but it's like I feel weird about it. I feel like a little uncomfy when it happens. Is the garter toss? I like I could not. I don't.
Chrys:I've never understood that it's so funny. Is that local? Because I've never understood that it's so funny. I also is that local because I don't.
Riss:I've never seen that until I moved here. Uh, I don't, I don't know, is that? No, I think it's. I think it's like a pretty like united states thing or national thing.
Chrys:I don't actually know if it happens in brazil, I don't know I, I went to a wedding where they did that and I didn't know what was happening. But I was like, like, why, like, why is he in her dress? Like I get that y'all have been waiting. Can you wait like another two hours?
Riss:until the hotel.
Chrys:Why is he under there?
Riss:I know I it, just I, I can never your dad is there, his dad is there, I, his dad is there. I can just, I can just picture like being sit like sitting on that and okay, you're like sitting in a chair, usually, like the groom will do also do like a little sexy dance right before, and that's also like I know. And I can just picture like making eye contact with like his mom or something and he like he just like eye contact with like his mom or something and he like he just like goes down and it's like no don't do it.
Chrys:There's this type of thing that makes no sense to me because literally, like I can't even remember whose wedding it was. I clearly blocked most of that out because I was traumatized. But it's like, okay, we don't drink coffee, but like the guy is basically going to like make it seem like they're performing oral on their wedding night, like dance floor, like what yeah, and then and then they get the garter and they toss it.
Riss:I don't want your like groomsmen or your friends with my thing it's weird, I can't.
Chrys:I totally block that out. That that's even a thing. Because I was, because we obviously did not do that, my dad would have had a heart attack on the spot.
Riss:Oh my dad would have cut the wedding short, okay, everybody leave.
Chrys:Honestly, like part of me almost wish that I'd done it just to know what my dad would do, because he's so like vanilla and yeah, he would have died. But I will say this like we obviously didn't do that, but even just leaving the wedding, because we waited until we're married and whatever right, and so many people, including my father-in-law, were like high-fiving my husband and being like go get it, son, and that alone.
Chrys:I was like never wanting to see any of them again just like, yeah, like interesting like in somewhere like next week this happened to and we had like 20 people at our wedding. It was like a covid, small wedding, but literally like everyone in his family was like go get him, man, you know what to do. And I'm literally like right there, like I'm just like tossing condoms I was dying and so to do like the garter thing, I think I, I just I'm not built like that, I like, just could not either it's like we all know what's gonna happen.
Chrys:We don't need to like yeah, we don't need to give a trailer, you know I know it's like, can we just pretend like, yeah, no, that was uncomfortable, yeah, I could not, that's just definitely. Uh, it's just the thought of it it's so bad. I mean, they have so many weird ones like that. It's so funny to me because, like I was telling somebody about, I can't even remember how this got brought up, but, um, you know how, in brazil, and I don't even know if this is strictly like a church thing in brazil, but how they like cut the groom's tie yeah and like and forever, anyone doesn't know.
Chrys:They basically go grab the groom's tie, yeah and like and forever anyone doesn't know.
Chrys:They basically go grab the groom's tie and they cut it and then like they sell the pieces to the people at the wedding and like just to get money for the bride and groom or whatever, and it's like kind of like a cute quirky, I don't know. I don't think it's bad. Fun little tradition, yeah, and I haven't seen this anywhere else. But I was explaining that to someone from here and they were like that is so weird and I'm like okay, but you guys do the garter thing. Yeah, that's weird, like I have. How are we not on the same page?
Chrys:about this how is my culture the weird one here no, and it's funny too, because people here think that we're like slutty brazilians or something, that all like brazilian girls are slutty or something. I don't know why, but it's like y'all are weird. We're actually vanilla, okay, we're actually pretty. Yeah, it's pretty mild with this stuff. With this stuff, yeah, we keep it a little more private, at least on the wedding. That's uh, yeah, no, that's so bad. So, yeah, I don't know if it's like, yeah, divorce worthy, but it's also it's weird like it's just an uncomfy thing.
Riss:Yeah, okay, but okay, I had to google this just to fact check ourselves. But it's not just an american thing, it's like a european thing so they offended a bunch of people yeah. So I'm gonna see if they actually do it in brazil, and we're just uncultured.
Chrys:Maybe they definitely don't do it in the church in brazil ever I, I've never seen that, no, I I've.
Riss:I have never seen it at a also, though, too, in brazil. I feel like weddings are such a like a big traditional like, very like fancier too yeah that I feel like it doesn't fit the vibe. It just doesn't fit the vibe in general at all, so never mind yeah, I don't know.
Chrys:I also okay another red flag, okay, the coordinated dancing thing, like maybe I'm just not like brave enough to like embarrass myself like, um, I've seen like, like the brides doing it and the grooms men doing it with the groom, like the little organized dance for each other or like lap dance or whatever. Brazilians don't do it, phew, okay, I mean, we knew that. I've been to a ton of weddings out there Like I've never.
Riss:I have never heard of it.
Chrys:Yeah, it's never the first time I heard about it was when Catherine, like my oldest sister, was getting married, and I can't remember exactly the situation. No, they didn't, but they didn't talk. My parents paid for that wedding, but I remember hearing about it. I don't know if her husband wanted to do it or someone asked her. I can't remember, but my that's. That was when my parents first heard about it and they were like we will not attend if you do that that's so funny.
Riss:Yeah, I don't know. I almost like wish you would have done it, or one of your sisters, just because I would love to know maybe we'll get my youngest brother to do it at his wedding.
Chrys:see what my parents might I mean we couldn't wear, just so you have like a slight idea of how my parents are like. I had a shirt that was a full shirt like, with sleeves covering everything, but at the very bottom on the hem, it had like a tiny bit of like lace around it. I came downstairs wearing that because I was going out somewhere and my dad said I was wearing lingerie, yelled at me and had me changed. That's how, like my parents are, they would have died.
Chrys:I know your parents. I know they would have died on the spot, for sure, like yeah, but yeah, maybe someone needs to traumatize them a little.
Riss:Yeah, it'd be a great prank, like if I'm sure I don't know how you. You should tell them that I'm getting married and that I'm planning on doing that, just to see their reaction.
Chrys:I'll record their reaction. They'll probably say in portuguese, but maybe we can put it on the channel I'm like, part of me is like maybe I don't even want to know. Oh, we always knew it, my dad would probably call your dad and be like did you know?
Riss:just to shut it down. That's so true. That's exactly what would happen. Yeah, oh so good snitches yeah, you know what happens to snitches.
Chrys:Yeah, oh my gosh, that's funny. Yeah, well, that's, that's on the wedding stuff. Yeah, if anybody has any good ones, let us know. Yes, add to the list.
Riss:Um, okay, so the Dakota interview? Oh yeah, as somebody who has not watched the show at all. Yeah. Yeah, it was interesting to listen to it. I feel like I have very little context. I've only seen like TikToks here and there. Yeah, but I know that Dakota and Taylor have a very toxic relationship. Yeah, but it seems like they're both aware of it and, to some extent at least, they take accountability for it. Yeah, the fact that they know that they're both toxic. Yeah, they don't work well together I don't like him.
Chrys:I really don't like him. Tell me I don't know, I just get a weird vibe from him. He's so I don't know how old he is, I guess, but like he seems like he's so immature and just so like he has to be like in his young 30s. I don't think so. Yeah, I would think so. I just feel like he acts really like immature and he's just he doesn't stand up for her, which I really don't like.
Chrys:And even in that interview and in the show he did this too. I know you didn't watch it, but I think we talked a little bit about it. There was like a party um, it was so dramatic and there was a lot of screaming, but there was a party, like a halloween party they went to and literally he's talking to this guy who's been talking trash about taylor online forever, apparently, and he was like a part of the swinging thing. Ish, um, and he just has never fully owned up to it and he's basically had tried to like throw her under the bus anytime he has had a chance to. His name is chase and allegedly anyway, and um, in my opinion, in my opinion, and this like dakota guy shows up and they go like straight to talking to each other. And this guy is talking trash about taylor, who he was with at the time, and he's just like man. I didn't know that, oh dang, whatever, he just seems like a child it's like that's your partner.
Chrys:Shut it down and go back her up. And also like, even if you're not together, she's the mother of your child. They just had a baby together, I don't even know when, at some point in the last two years. I don't know, but like you have a baby with this person. This guy is talking trash about her instead of sitting, and, especially because this is on tv, it's like what do you do when you don't have cameras around? Like are you trying to find people to talk trash about your baby mama? About? Like that's a terrible situation. It's like you. I know they acknowledge that they're toxic together, but it's like then change the toxic behavior.
Riss:Yeah, like the, the accountability is there. The responsibility is not because they they're not like changing, no, and it's like, oh, we bring out the worst in each other.
Chrys:And it's like it's a choice, though. You chose to be there. And then, like she comes up in the conversation because she hears them talking about her and he's still like attacking her along with this guy, and it's like shut it down. If you have questions, you talk to her in your own time, yeah, and you resolve it, but you don't like attack your partner or your baby mama or whatever in front of other people. Like, yeah, it's just such a betrayal. It's like, literally, you have a child together and also male contribution on making a child is hella minimal, so like you have to make up to her already a ton and now you're effing up.
Riss:So like you're in the negatives, bro, like oh, yeah, seriously like well, and then, okay, this is one of those rumors I have actually. No, I I didn't research this enough. Did he get somebody else pregnant recently?
Chrys:oh, I don't know. I don't know. I think, wait, I think I heard about that, but I don't, I don't know which wild which also like can we wrap it up? Can we wrap up your ding dong, so like before you go?
Riss:there is such a thing as a condom of a sectomy and like basic biology.
Chrys:Do we not understand what happens? Like, yeah, and do we want a bunch of different baby mamas, another one that you're gonna disrespect? Probably? Like yeah, for real, yeah, and like, think of the children. It's like, if you don't want to be responsible, think of the children that are gonna come out of this and have a really tough time because you're bringing them into these like terrible situations, like very public situations too. Yeah, it's just yeah, I don't like him, yeah, I really don't. And I and during that interview he was very much and we can break it down further but like I felt like he very much got asked questions and then he'd be like, oh no, I need, I'm gonna protect her, so I'm not gonna tell you what it is, but then he's leaving room for speculation that she did something bad or she's a bad person. But it was like I'm not going to tell you what the context is behind this because I want to protect her image when she's very much like I like her honestly. I know she's kind of impulsive and she's kind of immature too, but I do feel like she's honest, she'll come out and say things straight up and she doesn't leave room for interpretation, and that has served her poorly before too, but it also serves her well because she is transparent and so him creating nuance for people to come up with opinions about her theory is a betrayal too, yeah it's like and he just rubs me the wrong way, like at one point and I don't know if I interpreted it wrong but at one point he gets asked um what was it, it was
Chrys:like man. He gets asked about something, like there was a secret that she found out recently or something, and at first he makes it seem like she kept a secret and she lied to him and it really hurt him. But then they're asking him questions and he's like like, well, it really hurt me to keep that secret from her and it's like, okay, so you kept a secret from her. That hurt her, but you feel you felt so bad about having to lie about it. Yeah, but you lied about something. It's like you're not taking accountability again and making it seem like she did something to you when you did something to her. Yeah, I don't like him. He's trash also. Her family is trash too.
Riss:I allegedly yeah, I saw, I saw. Um, I yeah again. I saw like different little tiktoks about it, like little clips of the show and yeah, they seem to be a very interesting, interesting family dynamic there and they were backing him up right like he lied to her and cheated which honestly bugs me so much.
Riss:As far as, like, family and friends are concerned, even when the person is in the wrong, they should still be supported. Hear me out. They can be called out on what they've done, if they've done something wrong, but still like supported, you know, like with love, um.
Chrys:So yeah, that that is very disappointing, um it's also annoying, especially like in that context, they seem to like really like him, but like they seem to be more on his side than taylor's side, which really bothers me, because like you should back up your daughter first and foremost, you know, like that's who you owe, like loyalty to 100. And also in the context, like there was a scene and and you might have seen clips of it, I'm not sure, but like they did like a dinner or something.
Chrys:Yeah, that's the one I was yeah and the whole context about it was, um, them saying how he, she, they had slept together or whatever, and they had seen each other a few times only and they slept together. And he went and slept with someone else and lied about it and her family's like well, why did you sleep with him? Like, and I'm like like she did that activity alone. Why is it more her fault than his fault? He was an active participant and like, the focus is not that they slept together at whatever point. Yeah, they were consenting adults. It doesn't matter, it's none of your business. The point is that he lied to her yeah, after that's.
Riss:I hate when that happens when it's like we're talking about this.
Chrys:Why are we focused on like something, yeah, it yeah it's just annoying and it's just like and it's a narrative I've heard a lot, I guess, just growing up like religious and stuff. Like you're responsible for what you allow to happen, like yeah, or the thoughts that end up in the boy's head. And it's like, no, we're both adults. If we make a decision, we're both at fault for that decision and the consequences. Like it's not more on the girl because she's supposed to be smarter, especially like okay, I'm gonna get heated, you are on one go. It's like, oh, men are so stable, they're supposed to be the leaders of our world, but also they can't think of for themselves. And like, if you like, if you show a shoulder, they might like lose their minds and then they might attack you and it's gonna be your fault. Like what the hell is that? Yeah, it's a very yeah it of like you're the the leader, also being so weak that.
Riss:He's just a poor follower of whatever you do.
Chrys:Yeah it's so annoying. And he was like, and even like Dakota himself, he like yelled something at her like in that moment, like, um, what did he say? I think he said something like what does that tell me, as a guy, that you were, like willing to sleep with me right away? It's like, what does that tell me about you? Like, what does that?
Riss:mean? What does that mean? Like you wanted to sleep with me and it's my fault.
Chrys:Exactly what Exactly? It just pisses me off because it's like why?
Riss:also and also like oh yeah, that just bugs me. What does that tell me as a woman about you, that you would take advantage of me wanting this?
Chrys:I don't know like you can just flip that so many times it's yeah, it's just annoying because it's like we both made like putting myself in their shoes. It's like we both made a decision we're attracted to each other, and it sounds like they communicated like that they were only seeing each other. And so it's like, yeah, okay, it's like we only seen each other. We slept together and then you went and slept with someone else, but because I slept with you too soon, even though we agreed we were only seeing each other, you have a right to go sleep with other people, because I'm telling you that I'm a slut if I'm allowing you to sleep with me too soon.
Chrys:It's like so you're like I'm like I'm I'm supposed to get screwed over in the situation because I allowed this to happen too soon. It's crazy, yeah, it's so like misogynistic and annoying, and it's like and it's immature of him because and the funny thing is to it it didn't even seem like he had that stance until his her family said it, and then he immediately jumped on the bandwagon because he's like oh cool, this is gonna take all responsibility off my plate. So I'm just gonna point my finger at her too, instead of being her partner and being turning to her family and being like actually, we chose to do this and I stepped out on it on that agreement, and it wasn't cool. Yeah, and we're trying to fix it. It's like we're like why are we not mature enough to? And also, to begin with, why the hell are we talking to our family about this?
Riss:yeah, well, reality tv show.
Chrys:I get it, but film them too, talking about it like you would never bring these issues to your family. They're not entitled to be a part of your relationship like that. I get that you're involving all of america and other countries, but but you know what I mean, like at some point the show is gonna finish or whatever.
Chrys:You still have those relationships with your family and that's still gonna be hard to set boundaries later with the public. You can just go offline and like no one will hear from you again. Yeah, you know, yeah, but no, totally agree, I am.
Riss:You know what I did. Uh, it's like shout out to nick vile, though I did, like how I feel like he called him out a ton though, and he was too. He was just like, well, you know, like you've said this and this and this, what you should be doing is xyz like why aren't you? Essentially and I, I appreciate that, I feel like it needs to be said I feel like nick vial seems very healed.
Chrys:I know he probably has his own faults and I don't know him too much, but well, personally I don't know at all, but like just from watching his stuff I don't know him at all but like just from watching his stuff, like I don't know too much about him. I know a lot of people don't like him but I do feel like he has a lot of valid opinions.
Riss:He, like I, didn't watch his season on the Bachelor, but he wasn't very liked, right? Yeah, I can't remember if I did. He's had like, do you what do you call it? He's overcome. Oh yeah, I think so I.
Chrys:I know he was on multiple seasons. I saw like his season when he was the bachelor, but I didn't see the other ones that he was on, so I don't know too much. But I know that he wasn't liked from that and I know that, like a lot of people disagree with some of his like more recent opinions, but I do feel like when he has interviews like this, he does a good job at calling people out and like giving them good, like actual advice, instead of like just trying to trying to like spice things up and like right, cause a situation. He's like why don't you do this so you can have a good relationship? It just makes sense to me. One thing I feel like they didn't really address was the fact that in the show, the girl that he slept with, or I don't know.
Riss:They said hook up Dakota yeah.
Chrys:The girl that he got with when he was with Taylor. He told her that he was only going after Taylor for clout, like it was like he was only getting with her and doing videos with her so he could like take off on social media. They never addressed that and I don't know if they did, though, on the in the interview. I did fall asleep at one point and then I listened to the rest of it the second day, so I might have missed something.
Riss:I'm pretty sure at least it was um briefly addressed, because I remember him mentioning. I think nick vial asked some something along those lines and he responded by saying that he didn't even know she was famous before they started going out bs.
Chrys:I don't believe that, because wasn't that after the swinging thing?
Riss:everyone knew who she was and it's like a quick you search this person up on instagram like which is and he's in utah.
Chrys:She's been famous in utah for a while there's no way you're going out.
Riss:You're gonna go out with someone without even like looking them up on instagram that's a lie even just to see if they're consistent with their like dating profile images right and he had a tiktok and like there's no way he didn't know who she was.
Chrys:Yeah, zero chance.
Riss:He did allegedly he did say that Okay, I need to. I missed that part.
Chrys:I'm pretty sure he said that, but that pisses me off, yeah.
Riss:No, yeah, I actually never mind. I won't say that I was going to say something. Text it to me, say it um text. It to me no what I was gonna say is I I had, I remember, like a few years ago, um swiping, like swiping on the dating apps, and seeing him, oh which way did you swipe? I don't. I probably swiped right or whatever direction up.
Chrys:Whatever Was it mutual or was it?
Riss:Tinder. Oh, at first I thought if you were asking like, if we matched, it wasn't mutual.
Chrys:We don't have to spice it too much. I'm just wondering which app it was. I don't remember.
Riss:It might have been like Hinge or something, I don't. I don't remember. It might have been like hinge or something. I don't know. Um, we did match, though okay, I have to just like put it out there that you did match, yes, at least like if I let. Oh yeah, I don't know if we even talked, but I remember just matching.
Chrys:Um yeah, and I will. I want to be clear about this. Like I again, I don't know too much about his life and I listened to the, the podcast and stuff about him talking about like addiction and all these different things and like that's a hard situation to deal with. It sounds like he's been able to overcome it and that is very impressive. Like I don't take that away from him, but I do think and maybe that's part of why he he is immature and he lacks communication and things, because he's been so long battling addiction that he hasn't had time to have other experiences that he probably would have been having to build those skills. Um, so I'll give him that, and I mean it. Through battling addiction he developed different skills that were probably going to be helpful in life.
Chrys:But I do feel like yeah he's not a good partner right now and there is a gap in maturity there still yeah, I would think I.
Riss:I think so too, but you're right it is like the whole addiction journey is very difficult and making it out of it is a huge triumph, yeah, um, but it's. It's like what was said on that podcast too, and I've and I've seen it said in other contexts. They kind of like feed each other's um, they trigger each other. You know like they, him and taylor, um, because hers is the drinking right, yeah, well, I, just their toxic behavior. So I don't even know if it has anything. You know like they, him and Taylor, because hers is the drinking right, yeah, well, just their toxic behavior. So I don't even know if it has anything to do with, like, I don't know if she has any addictions or anything I don't know.
Chrys:He brought up a few times in the interview that, like her, drinking was a big problem.
Riss:Yeah, yeah.
Chrys:So I think that they are triggers, they trigger each other and they're probably not the best match in that con in that sense, and I can see that, like I obviously not going through the same things it's not necessarily like I can relate on the same level to know exactly what their situation is but I can see that like having somebody that you don't click super well with. But I also feel like it's a matter of like communicating properly and I think it's just maybe they're just not healed enough to be able to do that. Because if you do have that level of attraction and you want to be together, like why can't we just sit down and say, hey, this is what I'm doing, this is what you're doing, these are our goals? This is how we're going to show up for each other and like this is what's okay, this is what's not, and then following through with that I don't understand.
Riss:I just don't know if it's, if it's that easy at all times. I feel like a lot of people do, like they're attracted to each other because they push each other's buttons in a very unhealthy way and it's like and and it feeds this toxicity. That is like there is the drama, is a rush, and there is the dopamine aspect to that and it is exciting, yeah, and then that also gets confused as like chemistry and a spark, yeah, but really what it is is triggering and it's an anxiety response and it's your nervous system getting all messed up. But it's seen as something like romantic and that's why it like, it's almost like that is the addiction. You know, like that is what is like why you keep going back. It's because that feeling, even though you know it's not good for you, you keep going back it's because that feeling, even though you know it's not good for you.
Riss:Yeah, the feeling is just so like the, the toxicity, toxicity of it is attractive yeah, scratch that. I feel like I've had a relationship like that, like uh, been there, yeah, but I think it was like I speak from experience.
Chrys:Yeah, no, I, yeah, I understand that. I feel like, yeah, and but to be fair, and again, different situations. But in the situation that I had, like we both were immature and communicated poorly, but we, right, did like push each other's buttons a lot and that's what made us and honestly, it's so funny because I think we never like officially dated for more than like five months at a time, but we did it a few times and, yeah, I, I get that I understand that.
Chrys:But yeah, and I mean, there's no shame in co-parenting sometimes that's the best relationship for your kid. Oh yeah, the best dynamic it's just peace and you can get along. You just have to to. The thing is, too, is just like, just, please, do the healing and like, make sure you can get to a place where you can communicate effectively, to do the like, co-parenting and setting those boundaries, because, like, the only person that's really getting hurt that matters that sounds bad is the kid.
Riss:Because, as adults, like Well, because the adults are making the decision right, yeah, the kid is just, it's like collateral. And and that's what's sad is because, yeah, they're not deciding anything, that's happening, but they're receiving the consequences of it. So, yeah, yeah, you gotta keep that child in mind because it I can only imagine you also?
Chrys:have resentment towards each other, not just for the failed relationship but also for like losing half of the time with your kid because now you're having to split custody. I can only imagine that just fuels the resentment and yeah that's just, that's so hard.
Chrys:I can't even imagine that. That's just, yeah, and especially for her, like, and I mean he only has one kid, so like that's the hardest that he knows and that is definitely very hard. But for her, like she has the same situation with her ex husband, so she has like three kids that she's sharing custody, and that's just as a mom like I, I can't imagine doing that. That's just got to be so difficult. Yeah, that's tough and and lonely and that's probably feeding into going back to bad relationships. Because like, yeah, you go from having the house full of people, full of kids and noise and you know.
Riss:Companionship, yeah, companionship to not all the things.
Chrys:just that's just a tough, tough situation to be in, but, yeah, just sad. I mean this sounds so bad from one side. It's thank goodness these people are on TV and online because it's so like entertaining and there's so many lessons that you can pull away from it. But then, like you pull the curtain and it's like these are their lives and like that's just, these are such complicated issues and like tough dynamics and everyone has tough situations to a certain extent. But then like adding public scrutiny to.
Riss:That is a whole other thing to, yeah, going through something and then going through something while the whole world is watching. Because even to like a much, much, much smaller extent of like, if you have a relationship issue and then your whole family finds out or like all your friends find out, like that's already hard enough, like that it gets harder to deal with. Yeah, right, because then you have opinions and you have people that genuinely want to help or are genuinely concerned, or and everyone that only has a little piece of the truth.
Riss:Yeah, the dynamic, yeah and then it feels like now you're just like balancing a lot of different things. That's I feel like. That is the extent to which I have that experience.
Riss:I cannot imagine multiplying that by like a like millions you know, and then like and going online and everyone has an opinion. You go anywhere and you know people have a pain a pain not just opinions, but like judgments and yeah, they're looking at you a certain way and it's very hard, I think, to just like turn a cold shoulder or be like I did not have that strength in me. I do not, I don't either yeah, I'm like I care, and it's just like, yeah, I I don't, yeah, it's. It's very hard to to go through something.
Chrys:It's also tough too because it's like it's so much easier when you're not emotionally invested in the situation to have the perfect solution and like, and adding the fact that you only have part of the story and then everyone's giving you different opinions, with part of the story and zero of the attachment to your life. Yeah, that's just tough and and I mean, and they're in, like dakota and taylor's relationship in particular, like there were trust issues and stuff like, can you imagine being in a relationship where you already have trust issues? You have all these diff like difficult dynamics. You have a baby.
Chrys:I think they had like two miscarriages together or three or something before they had the baby. So, like, were they trying to get pregnant then or were or was it an accident? I don't know, because they, I don't know. I I'm pretty sure they had a few miscarriages, so I don't know if it was like intentional or they just weren't being careful and things just kind of happened. Yeah, um, and it sounded I mean him with like an addiction background, her like going through like a divorce and everything else she was going through. They might have not been thinking about it.
Riss:Yeah, which like, and not that it matters too much, I feel like it's like that kind of thing is gonna be difficult regardless, but true, but just all this hurt and like.
Chrys:Can you imagine just like people coming out of the woodworks like, oh, I hooked up with him too, or hey, I did this? It's like how could you not like, how can you, how can you just shut that off, especially when it's like one of the times it was true, yeah, like the random girl. I think that's what happened. Like the random girl popped out and said, oh, I hooked up with him. At the same time you were with him, and then that's how this whole thing happened and yeah, that's just. I honestly don't know how they do it and I think I mean, if I hope that y'all get compensated enough, they do Well even still like up that contract because, like that is tough, make it worth it.
Chrys:I know you gotta be getting paid really, really, really, really well to go through that. Yeah, and I mean and I'm not even judging honestly, because it's like I don't think I would have the strength to do it. But I don't know, maybe if the paycheck is big enough, maybe I would still go through it.
Riss:If I could have a house that's big enough and nice enough that I don't have to ever leave it maybe.
Chrys:Yeah, yeah, honestly, like, like financial stability is huge, especially now. So like in being a single parent which a lot of them are, like I totally get it, like I don't think I have any judgment towards like them doing it at all. I, if anything, I just it, just seems like a very yeah.
Chrys:It's just seems like a very hard thing to do do you also get like kind of blown away that, on top of all that, they're doing that in utah, because I feel like out of all the places, like if I was going to be on like a reality tv and like have the guts to do that in brazil?
Riss:maybe I would, but like here I think, they're so much more judgmental well, yeah, I think honestly, that is one of the reasons why it blew up the way it did. Well, yeah, it's because of all the places for that to be a controversy. This is it.
Chrys:You know, this is the place but then like I would live somewhere else in a different state, and then come back just to film, because how do you just like go to the grocery store and a lot of them go to church like that I can imagine people don't stare.
Riss:I wouldn't be surprised if that's what they do, you know, like they have a second home somewhere else. Yeah, yeah, that's what I would do. That's what I would do too.
Chrys:Go live in another country and maybe people play it cool. Maybe people don't approach them and stuff, but I I don't know. I would think that people do.
Riss:I'm sure they get approached and there's like there's crazies out there, you know, for everything, and just I'm sure that they get like the stalker people too, and that's scary.
Chrys:Yeah, that freaks me out so bad. I've seen too many like scary documentaries that just give me a reaction my eye stopped working.
Riss:I don't know what that was. I don't know, I just needed comfort like imagine having like a crazy stalker.
Chrys:I've seen so many like I know so many like documentaries, like that's scary, like some people get obsessed and like, and also just like the parasocial relationships people thinking that they know you and like.
Riss:I know it like did shut off.
Chrys:It looks like it did why we made it quite a while all right, quick pause also, I saw you reaching for the cushion as far as, and then being like Okay, but you have to try these.
Riss:They're so good, I mean they're kind of cold now.
Chrys:It's okay. Christian Cold is still good.
Riss:Okay, we're back from our technical difficulties, but um.
Chrys:I thought there was a massive hole in my straw. It doesn't work anymore.
Riss:Cover it.
Chrys:Ugh, I know, that was so bad. That was horrible it's too big of a hole it's like slashed in half, it's like half of a straw it's okay, that's why they have the little thing but yeah, very interesting interview, well done. It was funny too that his team reached out to Nick Vail to like be on. But yeah, very interesting interview.
Riss:Well done, yeah, did you think it was funny too that his team reached out to Nick Vail to like be on and go out of their way to ask. Well, I thought it was interesting that that was even brought up.
Chrys:I was like that's. Oh, I think they wanted to make sure that, like we didn't ask you here, you asked to come, so yeah.
Riss:Yeah.
Chrys:Oh yeah, it was very intentional. I thought so too, kind of a smart move. Um, I think so because he's, yeah, not one of the most interesting characters. I think they had everyone else on, yeah um episodes, but yeah, it was.
Riss:It was interesting to like I, I, I wonder what the pr strategy was, or if there even was one. Yeah, but it was just interesting to see that, like he was given a platform, a pretty big one, to like give his side of the story of just like who he is, and it fell flat a little bit.
Chrys:I think so too. Um, I think it's funny that in a I don't know, I think it's funny that everyone on that show is like against taylor. They and some people are like flat out against her. Some people are just kind of more like passive about it, but they're all just trying to flip the narrative on her because she's like the most popular one and I think she is for a few different reasons. I think she can be like too impulsive, I think she can be pretty petty, but she tends to be honest and people like that. But I do feel like his intention with that allegedly my opinion. I think he wanted to flip the script on her a little bit because I think the show made him look bad. It made him look like a bad partner. That's not supportive, that's not doesn't communicate well. He would yell at her and be aggressive and like not physically like it and I don't know emotionally, but emotionally like when she was pregnant, like he was very rude a lot of the times and that's a hard like it's a hard thing to do.
Chrys:Like being pregnant sucks, you're sick. She was dealing with like the divorce, not being with her kids, like a million things, and he didn't seem very supportive, like he looked bad on the show, yeah, and I think he was trying to rewrite the narrative a little bit to either make it against her a little bit or at least just like more neutral, and I don't think he achieved either of those things I think he was trying to give more con, like at least what it seemed like was giving himself more context of like hey, like this is my background, like this is where I'm coming from, like I come from a, like I have a difficult story as well, um, the.
Riss:The reason I think it felt flat, though, is because it's not. It's it's hardly ever justifiable. You know, like I people can have more empathy towards him now, and I think, like there's an aspect to who he is that I do have respect for, which is that part of him that's recovered from addiction and that's gone through all that. That is a very difficult thing to do, but and I could be wrong, and maybe my perspective on this is wrong but I feel like that is compartmentalized from um, the way he acts in a relationship. You know, like, yeah, it's just, they're two different things and it's I don't know. I think it like explains a little bit, but it's never just, it doesn't justify it, yeah, you know I agree with that 100 and I think people get really worried about having their story told it.
Chrys:Not that it's not relevant, because, again, it still is relevant to share your story.
Chrys:It can help someone, it can make somebody feel less alone, right, it can make someone you know choose a different path.
Chrys:I feel like it's always important to share your story, but I do have a little bit of a problem when people share their story, their difficult struggles to try to justify their actions, because it's still like okay, you went through that again, that's valid, that's real, it's impressive that you went through it. But it's also like okay, but we're worried about who you are now and choices that you make now are still your choices and you still have to own up to them. You still have to apologize when you mess up. Because I know a lot of people that are like this and, honestly, I probably have been this person too where, like, I did something and then I felt like I did the best that I could in the moment, but I still hurt someone's feelings and it was wrong of me to do it. But then I'm like, instead of apologizing and saying, hey, I messed up and I should have done differently, I'm saying, oh, but I went through this. Yeah, like that, yeah.
Riss:Like the misunderstood teenager.
Chrys:You know where it it's like I mean valid, but that's a different conversation and hey about that too.
Riss:We've all been there. You know like how many times like I'm guilty, like I've done that so many times where I feel justified in my wrongdoing because of how I was raised or because of whatever has happened in my life. But it's like it's just so irrelevant because that person, like whoever you hurt or whoever like, is a part of that situation. They are not the reason you're hurting, you know, and so like you, and that's why it's just so important to heal from those wounds. Yeah, and we're all gonna make mistakes, but it gives you the ability to take accountability, to improve, to apologize, to move on. Yeah, you know, rather than being like, hey, you have to be okay with me hurting you because I went through this, yeah, because my life was difficult and also like how much more impact of impact can't talk my gosh impactful and impactful.
Chrys:Impactful would it be to like be the person that's now like again putting myself in his shoes, like if I, if he had gone there and he had already had this conversation offline, because that's more important but saying like I was a bad partner. This is what I wish I had done. I didn't do that and I messed up and I wish that I had done it differently. This is what I'm gonna do, moving forward. This is what I've been through and I'm healed now and this is where I'm at and this is the partner that I want to be to someone else, because I know what it's like to be the bad partner. I know what it's like to go through these things and this has given me more perspective, makes me more empathetic towards other people and how I'm, my behavior, like. I know how my addiction affected other people right and I. That has made me think more of how my actions affect other people. So now this is what I'm doing and this is how I live my life, so I never make someone feel this or that way again, like that's just so much more impactful of a story than to just add it as like but this is the context. You know it's more like. This is the context for why I'm in a more healed place.
Chrys:I think that means more, and I think it just and maybe this is just a matter of, like him not having had time yet to do therapy or whatever work he needs to do to get there and just like I'm sure I probably wouldn't look great if, like, every moment of my life was filmed for a certain amount of time, especially after traumatic history and whatnot. But yeah, I just still wish that he had, like, approached that a little bit differently. I still like it was very much like pointing fingers to oh, but it was because of that, was because of this, instead of just saying I messed up and and I get it. I feel like I don't know. I don't know that I necessarily learned how to like apologize the correct way up until like my mid-20s.
Chrys:Um, because before it's like, oh, it's an admission of like me being a bad person, or like there's so much ego involved and just like don't know who you're, who you are enough to like, not feel like you have to defend that constantly you know, yeah, so I get it but, yeah, I just feel like it didn't look great and I think, yeah, there's just a lot of healing to that needs to happen there.
Chrys:And I think, if you're not going to do it for yourself, like do it for your kid, yeah, just to show them a different thing, right, like you want to. I don't know it's stupid and it's maybe obvious, but like this is part of your kid's story, like their story has started, and so, like the sooner you heal, the sooner you can implement those positive aspects into your kid's life, and like the more you delay like realizing these things, um the more like you're gonna hurt your kid and like your relationship and just makes things harder.
Riss:Yeah, so yeah yeah, um, and that's on healing, that's on healing yeah, I yeah fair, we still have a long way to go. No, and there's always like, there's always improvement.
Chrys:But yeah and but yeah, and we're judging from the outside, but that's just like how it's come across to me yeah, no, I agree.
Riss:Um, yeah, wishing him all the best and hoping he does go on that continues to to walk that path of healing and becoming a better person, as we all are you know, also like, when you think about it, it's like you overcame like addiction.
Chrys:Obviously you probably still have like struggles with it to continue which is huge. It's like yeah, it's like learning to apologize seems like a small thing to like add it. You know it's like you've done this huge thing. Yeah, like there's these small things that like will add up on top of that. But like, if you can do this, like you can do this other part. Yeah, this part is the easier part yeah, it is.
Riss:It's a part of the that. Yeah, I feel like that's a part of the whole recovery is being able to apologize. Yeah, anyway, should we finish up with our?
Chrys:I'm unprepared.
Riss:Someone, let you go first so I'm gonna let you go first with our uh quotes.
Chrys:The transition was just so good. I just need to give myself some props. Here are some motivational quotes that might help them. It went from super heavy to light but you know it's got an under lighter note a palette cleanser, cleanser.
Riss:If you will. If you will, okay. I just don't know how to start these now. Okay, so these are some sayings that you might find embroidered on your grandma's pillow. Uh, I, I can't read any of them. They're gonna sound horrible after the context oh no I'm just reading one right now. I'm just reading one right now yeah, your vibe attracts your tribe, which is why you know, and that's on fixing the vibe and that's on knowing when to quit um was that a chat, gpt one, yeah, does it sound like it?
Chrys:No, I mean.
Riss:AI came in clutch. Some people graduate college, some people start podcasts. We did both.
Chrys:Hey, it's true. True, we got master's degrees and started a podcast and then we're both like well, screw that see ya um be delusional.
Riss:Reality is for people with no imagination I like that that one. That one is one that I would I think belongs on our wall yeah, I appreciate that one a lot.
Chrys:Honestly, I do feel like it's silly how we like hold ourselves back sometimes just out of like fear, being delusional and just going for it pays off it's what we're doing right now, right?
Riss:I know we are self-aware enough to know we're delusional, like we're aware, that makes it less embarrassing uh, no, honestly, you have to have a little bit of like crazy in you to achieve big things. You know, and that's even something I've always like. This I've always admired um taylor swift in this aspect where I feel like she, the girl, just shoots for the moon and like she does not really care. I mean, obviously she cares, like how she's perceived because of pr and all that stuff, but like she doesn't care about being seeming like lame or delusional or whatever, like she just goes for it.
Chrys:Yeah, and I'm like I respect that I respect people can hate all their they want, but like, isn't she the most famous person in the world, has made it. Yeah, yeah, look, I was nine years old listening to her music in brazil. Okay, like, and that's been around, yeah, like yeah, and now she's even bigger than she was then.
Riss:Like, oh yeah, she's huge and it's like, yeah, it's just an aspect of like, she had a dream, she didn't care, she went for it and and she learned a lot along the way, because even at like, at a young age she wasn't like the best singer or, yeah, or guitarist or anything like.
Chrys:She had talent, but she grew so much and it was all just because she had a dream and she went for it yeah, I think she was always relatable too like true she she always very good with lyrics yeah, yeah, I, I like that, I mean, I think very relatable and just being herself, right, so just delusional yeah I like it.
Riss:I love it be the drama you wish to see in the world oh, spicy actually.
Chrys:I think that's toxic.
Riss:Oh, it is like but maybe, but maybe it's not. It's like you need to be the level of drama you're okay with seeing in the world. You know like if you want a less dramatic world.
Chrys:You got to be less dramatic I want a less like, like violent and all these different things world.
Riss:Yeah, like, what kind of drama are we going for?
Chrys:it's like I don't want war or like people starving any of that stuff, so like, but I want the tea, but I like tea, but I don't want it to be about me, right, right, I like the tea, about other people and being like what did she do? But what did they do?
Riss:but you gotta keep the plot interesting too.
Chrys:You know, I know, but main character of your life, you gotta, you gotta keep things happening I agree with that, but as far as the drama goes, I like being in the audience, you know. Yes, yes, I don't know be the drama you want to see in the world crystal, maybe I, maybe I need to be more dramatic and just spicy.
Riss:Start up some fights.
Chrys:I have gotten really good at picking fights with Josh, okay, but like we'll see where they'll go, but we don't know. It's kind of a joke For the most part. But yeah, in the go, but we don't know. It's kind of a joke for the most part, but yeah, in the world, I don't know. I do feel like I have gotten better at standing up for myself.
Riss:Hey, that is actually that's good, yeah, yeah, and if that causes drama, then so be it.
Chrys:Yeah, but I am all for that I do have a we've talked about this and it got dark but I do have a constant fear of like getting shot out in public, so I try to not start fights or speak too much of my mind, but and that's on living in america I know I'm like, although that fear also exists in Brazil.
Riss:True.
Chrys:They're just not registered. Yeah, because, like I don't know this is gonna go on a tangent, but I'm not really like a road rage kind of person, but sometimes I'm like you know what it would feel good to flip someone off, but then I'm like what if they murder me? True, they could, yeah, but it's like, is that a chance I have to be willing to take and then just go out in the world? Yeah, and just, I don't know, I have to at least be one of those people that, like, just pulls out their phone and starts filming. You know, yeah, I gotta bring the content to the people, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've had many situations where, like I should have filmed it and it probably would have gone viral and I didn't because I was too scared.
Chrys:Oh, like what? Well, the first one that comes to mind. There's a few different ones, but I was on an airplane, like I was going to a cruise with some friends this is like six years ago or something like that and there was a guy sitting. I was sitting on the aisle, he was sitting on the other aisle and he was like either drugged out of his mind or like drunk out of his mind. But he came in and he was like picking fights with people, being a whole, like doing a whole thing, and we ended up he got like five warnings before we even took off and then we fully took off and he was like screaming at people.
Riss:I feel like that's a good number of warnings before taking off he was like not even there, though.
Chrys:Yeah, and the funny thing is is that he kept on being outrageously insane, like he pushed a flight attendant at one point what? And I was sitting right next to him and he kept on turning to me and being like do you believe these people? And I was like I don't believe these people because I had one to kill me. I'm like, yeah, survival, yeah, dude, do whatever you want. I don't know the seats the airplanes have gotten like smaller and the seats are like closer together, even though we were both on the aisle.
Riss:I'm like, yeah anyway, like we are too close for me to disagree with you, right?
Chrys:now I'm like yeah, they're insane, I don't know. And yeah, he did that the entire flight. And then when we landed he got arrested like the well, at one point we were in the middle of flying and the uh pilot got on the mic and screamed at him like I can't remember exactly, it was like he was like 34 c, I was like 34 d or something and he's like well, the passenger 34 c sat down and stopped talking and we were like shiz and yeah.
Chrys:Then the funny thing too is that when we landed they announced it in the mic like everyone, stay seated, the passenger on 34c is getting arrested. And they said it. But like c and d kind of sound close together in those crappy mics. So the cops come in and they look at me first and I'm like I swear I'm innocent.
Riss:I agreed out of survival.
Chrys:I don't actually agree, I know, I just nodded when I felt like he might punch me too, I don't know. And yeah, he got arrested, they took him out and I was like and the funny thing is that my friends were in the same plane because we were going on this cruise, but they were sitting like towards the front. And when we got off they were like, did you record it? And I'm like, uh, towards the front. And when we got out they were like, did you record it?
Riss:and I'm like he was right there. You just have like your phone up. I'm like, yeah, no, they're crazy. Yeah, I'm recording this for you.
Chrys:Man. Just say that. Say that again. Yeah, it's for your records. Yeah it's. It's not for tiktok. Okay, I don't even know if tiktok was around, I mean maybe 2019, whatever.
Chrys:Um, it was hella scary and yeah. But and people like applauded when he got arrested and he kind of fought it on his way out. He was out of his mind like that's wild. It was just the craziest thing. And he was so close and I was like this would have been such good content. But also, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, he pushed a flight attendant at one point and then they brought another flight attendant over and they had this little piece of paper and they were basically like we're going to read this to you and you have to agree to behave in this manner or whatever for the rest of the flight. And then he wasn't paying attention. So they're like okay, we're gonna hand it to you, you have to read it. And he like just threw it like a ninja star at the guy's face. It was like this laminated big, like red thing. Anyway, it was great, it was wild, wow. And I'm just sitting right there like talk about a bad flight.
Riss:How, how many hours was that?
Chrys:it wasn't too bad. It was like a connection. Um, I can't remember exactly where we were going. It was, I think it was. It was either from utah to like I can't remember. We had the connection. We stopped somewhere and then we did the rest of the flight to Florida. So it was in one of those. It was probably like a two, three-hour flight or something. It wasn't too bad, but it did feel like a very long trip.
Riss:But yeah Well yeah, anyway, I've had a few of those you missed your 15 seconds of fame right there, I know.
Chrys:Yeah, anyway, I've had a few of those. You missed your 15 seconds of fame right there, I know let's give it. And if you're out there, how are you doing? I don't know. Hope you're out of jail we hope you're doing well.
Riss:Oh yeah, and your recovery journey yeah, maybe.
Chrys:Anyway, that's on, yeah, film it. That's on filming the drama when in doubt. Oh, it's not gonna pull the phone out. Oh, I was trying to rhyme and I wasn't gonna be able to.
Riss:That's good, yeah you heard it here first.
Chrys:When in doubt, pull out. That's applied for everything applicable for life quote embroidered on your grandma's pillows grandma knows what's up.
Riss:She does that was the only method. She had bagman, so gross.
Chrys:Yeah, I don't think I had any other good ones, but yeah, I like that one. I'll. Yeah this you came up with it, but I'll I'll steal the credit hey you go ahead.
Riss:Yeah, all right guys, you know the drill. This stays between us. Um, follow us on tiktok at the real tsbu. Follow us on youtube uh, this stays between us, I think. Yeah, or the real tsbu, it's one of the two. You'll find us um and any uh podcast platform. It really helps us out when you guys give us a follow and engage with our content. So, yeah, next time bye, bye.
Chrys:Also, I think your mic was like blowing out might have mine, I can't talk mine. Mine might've been too. It was on the red, so it might've been. I love it.