This Stays Between Us

Just Between Us… Snow White Controversy, Gal Gadot's Acting, & Chapel Roan's Viral Interview

• Riss & Chrys • Season 1 • Episode 16

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Two friends candidly discuss the latest controversy surrounding Disney's Snow White remake and the questionable production choices that led to its underwhelming reception. From Gal Gadot's widely mocked performance as the Evil Queen to Rachel Zegler's promotional missteps, they explore how quickly public opinion can turn when celebrities fail to connect with beloved source material.

The conversation shifts to a troubling teacher-student relationship scandal that recently made headlines, examining society's problematic double standards when it comes to discussing inappropriate relationships. They thoughtfully consider how gender affects public perception in these cases, and why certain harmful narratives persist despite our progress.

Chapel Roan's controversial motherhood comments on the Call Her Daddy podcast become a springboard for a deeper discussion about the impossible standards women face. They reflect on how motherhood contains multitudes – simultaneously being the most challenging and most beautiful experience – and why simplified narratives fail to capture this complexity. Whether choosing career, motherhood, or both, women inevitably face criticism, creating an exhausting burden of judgment no matter which path they choose.

What emerges is a thoughtful meditation on making confident life choices despite societal pressures. The friends conclude that true freedom comes from making intentional decisions for yourself while developing the ability to tune out criticism. After all, "everyone is so worried about themselves that they don't truly care... you live with your decisions, no one else does." This authentic conversation reminds us that our choices belong to us alone, and finding peace means learning to trust ourselves amidst the noise.

How do you handle criticism of your life choices? Join the conversation and remember – being confident in your decisions is the ultimate form of empowerment.

Riss:

all right, welcome to another episode of this. Stays between us. We're gonna talk about some just pop culture stuff, what's going on in the unimportant news section, but that's fun to know and fun to talk about yeah, um, did you see that the new Snow White movie came out?

Chrys:

Oh, yeah, do you have any interest in going to watch it? Oh, no, no, this is so funny because people are going hard, for I don't even know how to say her last name Gal Gadot. Gal Gadot, yeah. Anyway, in her interview she pronounces the T, so, like funny, I can't do it. Gadot or something I don't know.

Riss:

I don't know she's like israeli, right? I don't know how they would pronounce it.

Chrys:

I don't know either. Um, yeah, I think. So. I don't know much about her. I don't think I've ever seen a movie of hers maybe ever a superwoman I never watched that oh yeah I. What else is she in? I don't know um there was one that we started that we didn't finish. That was like a spy movie or um, like a secret agent movie, I think. But I don't think. I think we started it and we never finished.

Riss:

I can't think of anything else that I've seen her in at all, anyway, yeah yeah, but people say she sucks.

Chrys:

And I've seen these edits on tiktok. Have you seen them?

Riss:

one from the snow white movie is bad like I've seen people talking about gal gadot saying she's um, she's like the hot girl in theater class that gets like a main role because she's hot, but she like does not want to be there.

Chrys:

Yeah, she's like the daughter of like one of the PTA moms or something.

Riss:

Yeah, she just gets stuck. Which honestly like it's funny because with the Superwoman movie I don't know if it's just because, like the role she was playing was like hot stuff or whatever, but she was a big deal back then where like everybody loved her and thought she was super hot and she was she was is superman in the superwoman movie, or is that no?

Riss:

after afterwards. I think they have like um, a superwoman, like a sort of like a league, justice league, justice league, that's what it was. Yeah, like a reunion sort of thing, where it's like batman, superman and superwoman. I think they have that. I never watched it, but I'm pretty sure they have a movie like that, yeah another flop, I think.

Chrys:

Okay, I haven't, I didn't even hear about it, but I saw like there was a clip that was going around about how much her acting sucks. And she's going, she's saying like kal-el, no, but it's, I'm gonna show you because it's so bad.

Riss:

Um, that's so funny that you're hearing more about gal gadot. I'm hearing more about the other girl, uh, rachel, yeah, um, I don't know her last name but zegler, is that what it is, or maybe I? Actually really liked her. Well, I liked her in um the hunger games, oh, yeah, I did too.

Chrys:

She too. She was really good in that.

Riss:

She was really good, but she is poor girl, honestly, she's having kind of a hard time with the whole Snow White thing but, honestly, a little bit warranted. They kind of ruined the movie and it's such a classic, you know, and there was so much that they could have done, which maybe falls more on, like like the director and producers of the show. But like snow, again, snow white is just a classic and yeah, there was no reason to do what they did to the movie where, like the dwarfs, they had cgi'd but then they had somebody, like a little person, actually acting in the movie where it was like why couldn't you have had the dwarfs? Like why couldn't you have casted the dwarfs? Yeah, like with real people you know.

Chrys:

It's a good opportunity to employ a lot of people a hundred percent anyway.

Riss:

It was just like these like weird, like things in the movie.

Chrys:

The whole movie itself was just, yeah, disappointing yeah, I, I've seen like bits and pieces of it, but it does look pretty bad like the hair and the outfit. It just I don't know. It doesn't look like a full like disney production at all. It looks like it's. It looks worse than the costumes from like disneyland or disney world, like you would think they would. I don't know. It looks like a halloween costume, I guess, and there's the number of um yaga doing like the song or whatever and it's so bad like she's. She looks like a little like theater kid, like it doesn't, and she's not like the music's not good she's not really selling you that.

Chrys:

She's like this queen or whatever she's like I don't know.

Riss:

And yeah, yeah, no, yeah the hair was it looks so bad yeah it uh, lord and again it's disappointing because, like we all, grew up with snow white, you know like yeah it's a good story. It's there, had there was a lot of potential for it to be something that like a comfort movie sort of thing, you know.

Chrys:

But flop the kiss while she's sleeping little questionable. I could maybe see them changing that a little bit. Yeah, maybe not the social climate for that right now, but like true, but like you have to change it that much but at least in snow white's case, like like she knew the guy right that she meets the prince before.

Riss:

Yeah, Sleeping Beauty is a whole other thing.

Chrys:

There's a lot of movies where they get kissed when they're sleeping.

Riss:

Like at least there's no tongue, but still a little sketch, yeah, but then I did like I am kind of with that whole opinion of like. Why am kind of with that whole opinion of like? Why there's no need to change the whole narrative of a, of a yeah, of a story just to fit the like, the like whatever is a hot topic today, you know, yeah, their whole thing with making it more like of a feminist movie where they don't need a man to save. I know that they did like some interviews where they're like, yeah, we don't really like the idea of like having a man come save us because we're strong women and stuff, and yeah, I think that there's a time and a place for that kind of conversation. But in the context of snow white, there's also no issue in being a woman who wants love too.

Chrys:

You know, they're not mutually exclusive and everyone wants love, right, I think that's everyone wants companionship. I feel like that's fine and it doesn't yeah, it doesn't have to be one or the other, like you could be a very strong character and still one companionship and, if anything, it like there's also a powerful message in being like your own person, but then being able to combine lives with someone else. Um, also like, yeah, you want to teach that to kids, for sure, but also like you're putting way too much weight on like a little silly story.

Riss:

You know, that's just supposed to be like hope and people are nice and all these different things like yeah that's like the and like role of disney and and then I feel like doing that whole thing also disempowers who's not, who's no white was because she, even though, like, in the end, a man comes and like wakes her up or whatever, she does have this um, important message of standing up for herself and speaking against a powerful queen and not allowing, like the, the man, the man who takes her out into the woods and tries to kill her, like she manages to escape from that and kind of like builds a life for herself and like I feel like there's, you can work with that and it's still in the realms of like the actual story, you can empower the woman without having to change everything you know.

Chrys:

Yeah and it's also like and I'm not hating on the story, I'm just like they're over complicating it but also like the story is about like who's the fairest of them all, like, yeah, it's about who's the hottest, and like hot or not, it's not a ton of, it's not a feminist movie exactly like, yeah, and it is just a fairy tale and it's just a nostalgic story, right, because, again, we all kind of grew up on it Also.

Chrys:

I think there's also something empowering in I don't know, making the guy do a lot of the work. Yeah, so I don't have to Exactly Not necessarily like I want to make my own money, all those other things, but it's like I'm gonna open my own door there's nothing wrong with being a princess.

Riss:

I don't like taking out the trash is a boy job in fact we should be pushing for that do more of the work.

Chrys:

Men should be picking up their weight, I agree it's like like I carried two babies for nine months, like I'm not lifting a finger when we're bringing home groceries.

Riss:

A hundred percent like um and and like. The other thing too is like if disney wants to take uh, like if, if they want to have more of like a feminist uh position in society or whatever, then just don't recreate the movie. Yeah, don't recreate it. If you're gonna change the whole thing, write something new.

Chrys:

The funny thing is is that the whole point, like you would think, is either make money or send a powerful message. They miss the powerful message like train. They're losing a bunch of money on this. So, yeah, it's like. What is the reason? Yeah, yeah, make new stories. Make stories that are like yeah, like I don't know yeah, and it was very.

Riss:

I think it was pretty bad for their career too. Gal gadot and rachel yeah. Insert last name, yeah it's just sad.

Chrys:

Yeah, I don't dislike. I mean, I know that she's gotten some heat from like social media stuff. She's like. I don't know exactly what it was, to be honest, I didn't really read read into it, but I guess she posted some things online that were like aggressive towards one of the political parties and um towards like some individuals, and people took offense to that um, and I think I do feel like people are not investing in PR teams anymore or like media training right, because I feel like if you have a big platform, I do feel like to a certain degree, you do have a responsibility to use it wisely and try to good, do good things and whatnot, um, but you can do that without attacking people, I feel.

Chrys:

And does that ever really change anyone's mind or like anyone's position? I don't think it's very productive. So, I think promoting the good things and like um, like things that you stand for, I'm all for that. I think that's good and you should. And like why not? And like people tend to like want to know your life and what you think when you're famous, and they want to know whether or not they want to support you with their dollars, depending on who you vote for, or whatever your ideas, your values. I feel like that's valid.

Chrys:

But yeah, it sounded like she again, I don't know sounded like she didn't necessarily do it that way and said some things that she had to apologize for, and I just saw some um critics saying how that really hurt the movie too, of like the message that she was trying to send. She wasn't able to do it because of that um. So I don't know, I think it was just like the perfect storm the production sucked, the hiring sucked not by the leads necessarily, I mean maybe one of them and then the seven dwarfs situation. Like I think it just it was.

Riss:

Yeah, I was just not very well executed and I do feel bad for like the heat that she's getting I she's probably, from what I understand, she's getting pretty heavily bullied. Yeah, I don't agree with any of the stances she's taken. I don't agree how with how like she has gone um, how she has faced all of it, but I do feel bad for her oh, 100 like that would be hard to deal with.

Chrys:

yeah, people, and I mean I don't know the extent of it, but I'm sure she's getting bullied and death threats and all sorts of things- yeah, people take it way too far.

Chrys:

That's never justifiable. Like it's crazy, like that's just yeah, I know I agree with that. I feel like that's, and that's hard too, because like that's her livelihood. Maybe she made a mistake, maybe she didn't how she approached things, but like she's still a person, she still needs to have a job, like well, I mean, she can get another job, probably not in acting, but oh yeah, but like if that's all you have training for. Like that sucks yeah, yeah, yeah.

Riss:

No, it does suck and it's important to know, yeah, how to use the platform you're given, but I think what does suck, though, is that she took this stance that feels like it would have been applauded by society in the sense of because I feel like a lot of conversations had been going in that direction of, like making disney movies more empowering towards women and all that stuff.

Riss:

Like that was a big thing that people were talking about, um, but then I also think that there was just some sort of like, um, people got tired of it, you know it. Like, yeah, okay, we don't have to like women don't have to be these super empowering, strong women all the time. Like we can want love and we can want a family, and if one of us wants to be a stay-at-home mom, like yeah, like, let her be, you know, like there's nothing wrong with ideas like giving you more options, not limiting you one way or the other, or like increasing expectations on exactly so I think, it got to a point where there was just a little bit of exhaustion with that um narrative and and and then.

Riss:

so it was like at a bad time for her to say what she said, because I think that's like right when everybody was just like no, we, we're tired of this, like just let women be women and let us watch a cute fairy tale, like some of us, like Hallmarks.

Chrys:

There's nothing wrong with that. There's got to be a variety of options, right, it doesn't have to be just one niche or the other. I don't know. Yeah, no, I agree other, I don't know.

Riss:

Yeah, yeah, no, I agree, um. You know what is crazy. This is like real new stuff. Though did you see that teacher, that um, like a high school teacher that was dating one of the students?

Chrys:

I think dating is the wrong word, yeah, but the other one?

Riss:

is very censored. So who is? Yeah, yes, um, involved unconsensually, non-consensually with a student?

Chrys:

yeah, and the one that had um, the notes app or something. Yes, which embarrassing. I. I didn't even I'm gonna be so real, I didn't fully read it. I read the title and it was like she had a notes app that said that he cheated on her or something.

Riss:

So I did read it. Okay, she had. They were like this is so embarrassing, because I have definitely done this, like with men that clarify on which part I am going to clarify more than you need the notes part. With men of age that I have dated in the past. I think we all have like you sort of you want to send a text or whatever. You kind of like plan it out on the notes app, oh yeah, or whatever, talk it through chat gpt first.

Riss:

Yeah, does this sound crazy? Um, yeah, so I feel like it's a common thing. But like, within this context of like you're doing this for a 16 year old, like that's just, oh my gosh, so embarrassing and I mean wrong. But yeah, one of so one of the messages was kind of like or sorry, one of the notes on her notes app was her kind of writing out I don't know if it was a message she ended up sending to him or if it was just her like venting or whatever but she just like writes out how he did her wrong and how he keeps coming back and how, like, um, he's dating this other girl now but she knows that he wants her and and that kind of thing. Where, again, I don't know if, like, it's something she ended up sending to him or if it was just her venting on her like notes app, yeah, which again embarrassing You're tweaking out over a 16-year-old. It's embarrassing enough, like for me, when that would happen with boys my age no.

Chrys:

You know, anyway, uh, anyway, so crazy, and she's the teacher or the kid's teacher, so then it's crazy.

Riss:

but that wasn't it.

Riss:

There was like two other notes that that were like sent out in the media of manifesting him, what you know, like she, she had it written out Like um I don't remember her exact words, but paraphrasing basically like we are going to end up together, I, um, I'm going to get over, like I'm going to live my life and he's going to start thinking about me and he's going to want me and we will always be in each other's life and he will want me.

Riss:

It was like, and I think the notes was called like manifestation. It was like her putting it out into the universe you know, like this is going to happen, we're always going to be involved with each other and I think the irony is that it kind of happened like not the way she probably wanted, but yeah, they will be like forever, like there's always gonna be an asterisk for her, like that she was, of the charges he pressed against her yeah, yeah, oh my gosh, that's just like to me it's so sad and the comments that I've seen on the stuff like on tiktok and stuff just discuss like I, it bothers me so much because it's like um, there's, there's still like um, people who will put that on a pedestal of like a 16 year old boy hooking up with this hot 30 year old.

Riss:

You know, it's like some sort of badge of honor and these like comments kind of say that like oh, this boy is probably getting high fives from all his friends like he's probably the coolest guy right now for being able to hook up with like a hot older woman. When it's like he he's, how can you say that he's like a little kid, she's a grown, married woman married, married.

Riss:

That's not the most scandalous part of all that, but still no, but it's like it kind of adds to it and yeah, um, yeah, and it's grooming. You would not be saying the same thing if, like, the genders were reversed right, like if she was a man and he was a girl, like that would you know.

Chrys:

It's crazy, though it's horrible. Did you ever watch pretty little liars? Uh-huh horrible, I like. I tried restarting that recently because I, when I was younger, I watched it fully and I was team ezra and aria all the way. I was like her parents just don't understand I was so against it.

Riss:

You have no idea.

Chrys:

I hated it together. Yes, I always had a better sense there on that I had such like from a very young age. I feel like I had such a compass of like age gaps between people and it's funny because I feel like in Brazil people don't care, which is really bad but like yeah, and I think that sometimes I might have been like a little bit overboard about it but that's better than anything on the other end of the spectrum.

Riss:

I was literally with, like Ezra and Aria. I was always like rooting against them every single time and I would even try to justify it in my head like, okay, if he started college at like a really, really young age and then maybe he graduated maybe he's like 20, like, and I don't even remember like the youngest age I was able to pull up was like 21 or something. I was like, maybe he's 21. I was like and still it's so like he's 21 and she's 16, like I can't get behind it.

Chrys:

I can't that is the right side of history to be on. I think it's. Yeah, I mean it's not funny, it's crazy because I mean I don't even know if I want to get into this but, I feel like in Brazil and again it's bad, but it wasn't uncommon for someone to be like 16 or whatever and allowed to date and then like, have a guy, like come home from a mission or something and then, like them, start dating.

Riss:

It was almost like, oh my gosh, there's this guy coming back and I was like a 21 year old come like and it's so bad and I like didn't even think about that because it was so like common.

Chrys:

But yeah, when I watched the show I was like he's hot, I don't know like that's so fun, he's the teacher like he's in such a position of yeah power. I see clips of that now and I'm like it just makes vomiting.

Riss:

Oh my gosh. I just questioned the judgment of, honestly, well, the adult, that's who I questioned the judgment.

Chrys:

Well, yeah, the most but I mean not that the show is that important, but how did pretty little liars hit the tv? How was that on for like what? Seven, eight years? I know like how, how are what? I and I think I don't know. I never finished it, but I think they end up together.

Riss:

I yeah, I think. So. I think like it's always this there's like a part in pretty little liars where they start thinking that ezra is a there's like some suggestion, like it suggests that think.

Riss:

I kind of remember that Like it suggests that a little bit and I was rooting for that so much. I was like he's disgusting, he is A Like, he is the person, and I was like finally they're like going to make sense of him, like this whole thing of him, his pedo behavior, but yeah, but no. And then he wasn't. He's still like a good guy or whatever, and still like a good guy or whatever. And I just I hate any kind of glamorizing about that kind of thing.

Chrys:

I just think there's like no place for it. Yeah, no, I agree it's interesting because, like I would, I never. I always was against even dating guys my age directly, guys younger than me, was like a definite no, I don't care if it's like 30 days, I was like it will get away from me. You're a child, yes, but I definitely was always into older guys and that was not yeah, great, yeah, yeah, which I mean.

Riss:

Yeah, I don't blame you. I feel like, as like being the younger person, it it's hard to see anything wrong with it, I guess, because it's just like yeah, like what do you?

Chrys:

know I mean obviously, like when you're under age is a whole different thing, but when you're both legal, even still like I feel like after like 25.

Riss:

I'm a little less judgment, judgmental of like, yeah, any kind of age gap, but before 25 it's like your frontal, like lobe, is not developed. You are still like learning how to live, you know and who you are and what you aren't and yeah, do you and your boyfriend have an age gap? Two years he's older.

Chrys:

That's fair. Yeah, I mean that's not bad. Josh is three years older than me. Yeah, does not feel like it.

Riss:

What does it feel like?

Chrys:

That he's younger by a few years.

Riss:

He's great, but sometimes I'm like that's like normal. That's why we usually date older men, older guys.

Chrys:

Yeah, that's funny.

Riss:

I like forget a lot of the times, but yeah, two years yeah, no, and there was one guy I went out with one time that was like 14 years older than me. Yeah, this was. I was like 26, I want to say, when I went out with him, we went out on two dates and I could not do it. I was like this is way too weird, I can't do it, I'm sorry, um.

Chrys:

So yeah, that was short-lived but yeah, I'm not even gonna get on the topic. But yeah, I mean, I only went on like one accidental date with someone that was a lot older than me. Um, it was kind of not fully intentional, but that sounds so bad, I know yeah, I think I think I was 22, I don't know 23.

Chrys:

Anyway, it was like just really awkward. And the funny thing is, though, is that my friend was like on a. She was like dating this guy who was, um, quite a bit older than her too. Like they were, the guys were friends and I don't know exactly what they but um around there, probably like a lot of years anyway, but it was funny because we were at this bowling place and there was supposed to be like a group of years anyway, but it was funny because we were at this bowling place and there was supposed to be like a group of us, but ended up being like four of us, so it kind of ended up being a date, and there were these like boys on the lane next to us looking over, and they were just like horrified, and I was like so am.

Riss:

He doesn't even have money. I know what am I doing here.

Chrys:

I think he did, but that didn't matter. Yeah, I mean, I'll be real, I thought about it, but I just couldn't do it.

Riss:

Yeah, no, that's tough, and I mean to each their own. You know, I feel like there are a lot of relationships that work out that are like there's a big age gap, but again like if you're old enough to make that kind of decision, that like that's something you want, that there's nothing wrong with that, but when it's when you're young and it just when it smells like somebody's taking advantage of you, like that. I just can't get behind it.

Chrys:

You and I feel like and this is maybe true, for this is definitely true for every relationship, but I think it also depends on, like power dynamics and things and like if you're going to be financially dependent on someone like that? I probably wouldn't be financially dependent on anybody ever. But yeah, just I don't know. I think that can influence how successful the relationship can be. Yeah, um, but yeah, I don't know tough stuff yeah um.

Riss:

On another note though, did you see the chapel roan interview with I did on she's her daddy, or she's her?

Chrys:

that's a good name. She's her own daddy.

Riss:

Maybe we should use that name. Call her daddy yeah, I did.

Chrys:

I I didn't watch the full interview. I saw clips that everyone was freaking out about um. Do you have opinions, thoughts, feelings?

Riss:

yeah, I, I remember I listened to that podcast. I feel like this, this episode, I am like just like venting so much my frustrations with so many things. But, um, I I listened to that podcast even before I saw any sort of comment on it, okay, and so I kind of had formed an opinion even before I saw what people were saying about it, okay, and I remember just thinking like the stuff that she said I was like hot take. And by the end of it I was like I like Chapel Roan's music. I really like, I'll be honest, I don't listen to too much new music at all, which is character flaw. I kind of wish I like kept up with new music. I have like my same songs I listen to all the time.

Riss:

Anyway, in the same way, but the songs I have heard from her like they're really good, like there's a I feel like she's actually famous for her talent, like she's very good. Um, and I know a lot of people that are huge fans of her. You know like listen to her stuff, know a lot about her. Um, I listened to this interview and I remember just by the end of it I was like like, like I'm not her biggest fan, like I just don't, didn't agree with a lot of the stuff that she said and was put off by a lot of it too. Yeah, um, but didn't think too much of it. Like it was one of those things that I was just like. She makes good music. Probably wouldn't be her friend in real life, you know.

Chrys:

Like yeah she gives off like try to be an influencer for a day, kind of vibe, like she hates her life yeah, no, very negative, very negative and very like it's cool to be negative kind of energy.

Chrys:

You know which I'm not here for, like I don't like that kind of and like I don't know how hard the music industry is and like whole like hollywood people. I know there's a like really dark side to all of it, but I mean she's talented, she's like living her dream right, she has money, she has a lot of privilege, so it's kind of interesting to like have such a negative energy. I I haven't seen too much of her either. I've listened to some of her songs. I like her songs. Um, I don't keep up too much with like the new things she's coming out with. I don't know if she's come out with anything, but I have seen like some stuff of hers on TikTok before of her coming out and saying like stop asking me who I'm voting for and what political stance I have, or whatever.

Riss:

Which I honestly that kind of thing I respect because it's like I do too.

Chrys:

I mean I think there's two sides to it Right. I do too. I mean I think there's two sides to it right. I think we should not be looking to celebrities or influencers or whatever to tell us who to vote for or which opinions to have.

Chrys:

I agree with that. I don't think that's she's. I don't know she doesn't have the level of education or whatever it is, to make those types of claims. But I do understand the fact where, like, people want to know what she stands for before they like, support her. Like, I feel like that's the opinion that a lot of people have. Like, if we don't have the same values or whatever, I don't want to contribute to your fame with my dollars or whatever.

Riss:

I can understand that.

Chrys:

But at the same time, like she doesn't give conservative. So I feel like you can assume who she votes for or what her opinions are. Um, I do I don't know how much we want to just dive into it but I I do think that, like a lot of people and again she's very negative no, her biggest fan. She has like her own takes. I have some opinions on that too, but I did think it was like too much that, like a lot of like conservative people were coming out being like I love motherhood, how dare you say this about me? Or whatever. It's like you don't support her, right? She clearly doesn't have the same opinions you do.

Chrys:

Let's just keep scrolling like you know, I think it's one of those where, like the people who follow her and support her and whatever, if maybe they have an issue, whatever, that's different, but like, if you don't support her, you don't agree with her life choices, you don't whatever. Like then why does what she say like? What she says shouldn't matter, right? To you because you don't agree with her like yeah, and how old is?

Riss:

she? I have no idea. I honestly thought she was older, but then I thought she was young. I thought she was like 20 but I think she's like 30. No, I think I was wrong about her being like. I thought she was older and then, after this whole thing, I think I was wrong about her being like I thought she was older and then, after this whole thing, I think she can't be like more than 18.

Chrys:

I don't know, I I don't think that's right. I think she's is she if she's old.

Riss:

I would be very surprised if she's older than us?

Chrys:

I have no idea 27.

Riss:

Oh, that to me is very surprising. She definitely gives off an energy of being very young and that's honestly the biggest benefit of the doubt that I gave her, which has been removed. No, but I thought, like in my head I was like she's just like a young girl and like doesn't have like tons of exposure to life yet or whatever. I don't know, not that I mean, yeah, how much exposure do I have? But like, um, it was just, it was with her platform and her position. It was a pretty bold thing for her to be saying about motherhood and yeah, I.

Chrys:

I didn't watch the full thing again, but it sounded like she said like parents. She didn't know any parents. It didn't sound like she specified mothers, but maybe she did. I don't know she did so.

Riss:

She was, she was, her thing was, um. She was talking about her friends and how most of her friends have, um, become mothers and are kind of living more of this traditional life. And she's out here like making music and hollywood and all this stuff and she's just like I don't know anybody who has kids that like still has like light in their eyes basically, yeah, they they're just all miserable yeah, I feel like that's harsh.

Chrys:

Well, I think also like I was, I guess when I saw parts of it, I was thinking like I wonder what the friends think about that. Yeah, I, just because it's like motherhood is hard. It is like it's like the most beautiful, exhausting, terrible thing you'll ever do. Like it's all the things right. Yeah, you have good days, you have bad days. It's hard.

Riss:

Yeah, and to be honest, like nothing that's rewarding, doesn't come with like that part of being hard with it you know, 100% Like, and you're doing something new and like you, I don't know. I guess there's a whole like little human that depends on you.

Chrys:

Like it is hard, yeah yeah. And like and it's, it's tough, cause like some people will only fear monger you about everything. It's like just wait, just wait, just wait, it gets worse, just wait, it gets worse all the time. It's exhausting Cause like even when you're trying to be positive, sometimes like other people are like about it, but then there's other people that just glorify it and say it's so easy and it's so whatever, and it's it's not right. Like I think it has two sides and I feel like also I don't know her friend's situations, but like maternity leave is not a thing, like paid maternity leave. For most places daycare prices are insanely expensive. Most people can't afford to only live on one income. Like yeah, it is hard outside of just the motherhood part too. It's like the finances and trying to figure all that out logistically yeah difficult.

Chrys:

Being pregnant can suck. I, some people have a total easy time. Total easy time. I hated being pregnant. Be so real like I loved having a little baby. It was fun or whatever it's like. No, he was there and little kicks and there were like little milestones that we reached and that was really exciting, but like I was puking the whole time. That's tough.

Chrys:

Like has good and bad sides to it. You bring the human into the world and you love it so much or sometimes it takes a little bit to bond, but like you do love it and you want to take care of him or her. And but then, like your body changes and you're in pain and you might have like chronic pains that come from like having carried children and like and then they but they like, they grow and they learn different things and it's so exciting and you're teaching them and you're seeing how they're picking up on things. But then they might like throw fits because they don't want to eat and it's hard to feed them and it's like they might need a nap and they don't want to go down and they're freaking out Like it's beautiful, it's the best thing I've done, but it's the hardest thing I've done.

Riss:

Yeah, like, and it can be both things. Yeah, both can be true. Yeah, talking about like that whole idea of how, how hard it is to be a mom in in the sense of like, like the noise around being a mother because it's there is so much of like being on extremes, where people are like you can't say it's hard without people being like, oh my gosh, you should be like you're a horrible mom because you're saying it's hard. And then there's the other side where, like, you're super positive about it. And then there's people that are like you're not being honest, like you got to be honest about motherhood or whatever.

Riss:

Yeah, 100%, and it's just like, creates so much more difficulty. And I think you're right too about imagine being her. I just can't imagine like being one of her friends and hearing that interview and just being like that's the last time I come like vent to you about like, yeah, like how hard things are.

Chrys:

You know they might be having a hard day, they might be having a hard like, like going through a tough phase, like I'm. For everyone it's different. For me, like, the very beginning was harder, harder because I like you're not sleeping and you're like I was trying to figure out breastfeeding and all these different things. So like, for a period it wasn't just like a day that it was hard, it was like several days, months or whatever for a period there that like were difficult. But it doesn't mean like you hate your kid or you hate your decision maybe you do, and that's a whole other thing like and that could definitely be a thing, but like that's very like small yeah, yeah, I think most of the time.

Chrys:

Like you love your kid, you made a decision to bring him to the world. You're trying to take care of it and like. But it's just hard sometimes and like and it's so okay to be hard.

Chrys:

You know, yeah, and I think yeah, I feel like a lot of the times they'll say like, just wait, just wait, it gets worse. We should be saying wait it gets better Because, like, the thing that's hard right now, that's making it difficult right now, that part is going to get easier. Sure, you're going to have other things that are going to be hard at different points of your life, but like, oh, my alarm. But, like the sleeping thing, they end up sleeping through the night, like you're going to sleep again. You're going to feel like yourself again. Your body's going to heal, like you're after you're pregnant, like you're not, hopefully you're going to be sick anymore.

Chrys:

Like things get better and like maybe your kid will go through a phase where, like, they don't want to eat and they're difficult to feed, phase where, like they don't want to eat and they're difficult to feed. That's going to go away and it's going to get easier. You're going to have another challenge, but like the thing that you're struggling with right now is temporary and it's always going to be um. So I like, I like that idea more of like it gets better.

Chrys:

But I do think you should be able to have conversations and it's a tough balance, right, but have conversations without scaring people. Like certain things like I like I don't know, I guess it's it's just a hard balance to even get into it. But like there are certain things that happened through pregnancy, giving birth, having little kids that I didn't know about and I like read books on it, I talked to people about it, um, that I wish I had been more prepared for. But then there were a lot of things that people fear mongered me on, a lot that I that ended up not being a problem that I spent so much time worrying about you know, so it just um, it's just kind of tough.

Chrys:

You just kind of have to block out the noise and make the decision for yourself.

Riss:

I think, yeah, and it's so hard to like, um, I don't know. Know how somebody else is experiencing anything but especially motherhood.

Chrys:

You know, parenthood, parenting um, pregnancy and all that stuff I agree, and I do think it's unfair, I guess in defense of our friends, but I think it's unfair to go out and say stuff like that about your friends because, like as a friend, I would have been upset, like if I like vented to you that I'm going through a tough time or whatever, and you're kind of saying that like I've lost something, maybe I can't get back, or something that like it's not going to get better whatever it is, and also like you're kind of implying that I hate my life, I hate my kid, like it's just not great.

Chrys:

Um, I do think, I don't know, I guess we can go a few different directions on this. But like I, I don't know, I she has her opinions. I guess she can say whatever she wants. It doesn't change my life, whatever she says. There are tough moments, there are great moments, whatever, I think. I just I think it was kind of a lot like there were a lot of people like trying to overcompensate like in responses because they're like what if people don't want to have kids anymore?

Riss:

and it's like not anybody that wanted to have kids, is still gonna have kids yeah, I would hope that one person's comment doesn't change and if their opinions changed on what chapeleroan said or anyone said then.

Chrys:

Maybe they were never meant to be a baron.

Riss:

They never really wanted it and and yeah, I'm like I completely agree, like if she doesn't want to have kids, like all power to her, you know yeah, like you shouldn't like if you don't want to.

Chrys:

That's not something you should.

Riss:

It's not something you have to do but, I, I do think it kind of sucks when people just kind of like shit on other people's decisions life decisions because they don't agree with them agree with them or don't want.

Chrys:

I mean, I'm sure she has had people do that to her, and so I doubt that feels, good, yeah, and it's probably not. I'm not saying it justifies that at all. I'm just saying like if you've experienced that, you think that you would do it less because you know that people want to do their own things.

Riss:

Yeah, but yeah, you do bring up a good point that she probably comes from. She does come from a culture, I guess I can't say that for sure. Like I'm assuming she comes from a place that, um, like more traditional, that people get married and have kids and that's kind of like the thing you should do and she probably has had like a to build a narrative around it to because she's doing life different, you know. So she probably feels I wouldn't, I wouldn't be surprised, I guess is what I'm saying if she feels very defensive about the decisions she's made, to the point of having to say something like that, you know to be fair, the people that criticize her are probably conservative.

Chrys:

Yeah, so, like she probably is like intentionally or unintentionally attacking a group that she feels like has attacked her, or something like yeah, yeah, and let's just stop attacking each other. Let's just let people make decisions for their lives and, you know, roll with it. Yeah, no, I agree, I do think it's interesting too. I, I think I reposted it. I saw this girl saying something about it and she was saying kind of what you were saying like um, women just get criticized so much, let's just leave women alone, which is so true.

Chrys:

I feel like their expectations are like insane, because it's like if you work and your mom, it's like you should stop working. You're being selfish. And then, if you don't work and you're home with your kid, it's like you don't have an identity and you don't, yeah and you're home with your kid.

Riss:

it's like you don't have an identity and you don't have a life.

Chrys:

Yeah, like you're not financially contributing or whatever it is, and then it's so hard and so confusing and like I've chosen to essentially do both things. I guess that's where I find fulfillment but that's not where everyone does, like you know. But yeah, I find it just kind of interesting and it's also kind of crazy, because I mean, I grew up hearing like you're not supposed to work, like maybe get an education in case, like your husband dies one day, but like your job is to stay at home and like yeah don't go dreaming too big.

Chrys:

Yeah, and I think that's wrong. Yeah, I feel like you should make decisions for yourself and like having kids is a choice and it's not like your only calling in life and exactly. But if you do want to have them, it you make the decision that you want to have them and you understand the commitment that you're making. You absolutely should, and I've, I've loved it, I love being a mom and I also like working and that's worked for me and I've done both and I like it. But I hear criticism all the time of like you shouldn't, you'd be selfish or whatever it is, and it's like I don't care. Yeah, I do what works for me and you should do what works for you and that's the end as you should.

Riss:

I feel like, um, no matter what you do, you're gonna have haters, like you don't even need a social media account, like you'll. You'll have haters in real life, you know. So you just gotta do what, what feels right for you and what makes sense for you, and um, and live a good life for yourself. You know, and, and, and learn how to kind of turn down the volume of the noise around you. I agree, and I think, which is really hard to do, it is like I have a really hard time with criticism I'll be the first to say it so, but it is something that I definitely want to be better at, especially as a woman, because a lot of the time it feels like, no matter what you do, you're doing something wrong 100%.

Chrys:

Yeah, no, I agree, I think I don't know. Maybe this is not the best approach, I don't know, but what's helped me is kind of just try to see where people are coming from. Not that that justifies them being a jerk or rude or whatever, but like I don't know, just thinking about it, like I think a lot of people have made decisions for their lives based off of what other people wanted them to do, and so they become defensive of those decisions and them being rude or whatever. Trying to pressure them to do, and so they become defensive of those decisions and them being rude or whatever. Trying to pressure you to do something is just them trying to justify their own lives yeah so it's none of my business yeah, their problem, yeah, yeah, it's none of my business.

Riss:

None of my business. What you think of my business it is not.

Chrys:

It's like I don't want to know. Yeah, and if you tell me like that's cool, I'm just gonna be like okay, and I'm just gonna keep rolling and at the end of the day, like everyone is so worried about themselves that, like they don't, it's gonna sound bad. They don't truly care. They don't care like you live with your decisions, no one else does. Like they might give you an opinion in the moment or for a period of time, but they're gonna forget and move on like no one cares that much yeah, yeah, you shouldn't let somebody's side eye affect you too much it ain't gonna pay my bills, so I don't care well, because honestly, also, at the end of the day, like they disagree with your decisions, you probably disagree with theirs too, and I feel like you should.

Riss:

Just a lot of like that helps me sometimes is just remembering. That is like if, if something is affecting me too much, it's like, well, I disagree with them, you know and how they're approaching it. So I mean, try to be as respectful as you can.

Chrys:

Right, keep it to yourself, but like yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree, yeah, honestly, it's just I don't know. The mindset now is like it's none of my business, yeah, it's, it's not my problem. Yeah, and and yeah, you shouldn't take advice from anyone that doesn't have the life that you want or have the things that you want. Like, yeah, I'm not taking advice or opinions from chaperone or whoever about motherhood, when, like, she's not a mom. Like, yeah and it doesn't. Like it doesn't.

Chrys:

Yeah, it's not if she had some crazy good tip on how to get my son to eat anything other than sandwiches, I would take it. Or if she was willing to send me a large sum of money to have an opinion in my life, I might let her. But outside of that I'm not my business.

Riss:

I love it. Um well, yeah, I think that, summing up, I feel like this whole thing, this whole episode, has been a lot about just like, like and I feel like it's mostly directed towards women, but even for men just like and I feel like it's mostly directed towards women, but even for men just like be confident in what you're doing, be morally sound, you know, have some boundaries, but like, be confident about the life that you want to live and choose that for yourself, be intentional about it and live it. You know, and don't listen to all the negativity and hate that will inevitably be around you, because I think it's just a part of life Like there's no running from it.

Chrys:

I agree. I mean energy is currency, right, like you're, by letting it consume your energy and your attention. Like you're just giving, you're not taking, you're not receiving anything from this interaction, you're just like yeah wasting energy. There's just no point. Yeah, well, all right. Well, that got a little motivational, slightly depressive.

Riss:

I hope people will be making TikToks with our sound behind it. Anyway, this stays between us. Bye.